He’s a platinum-selling rapper and movie star. He gets $90 out of your IRA every time you buy a Vitamin Water. He won a rumored $4-million lawsuit against Taco Bell, a hardworking group of first-generation Mexican-Americans who are guilty only of figuring out how to make both tacos and Doritos…
Welcome back, Teepee! Last week, at his first headlining Miami show in two years, Crossfade’s favorite banana-fueled noisenik totally El Kabonged the crowd at Churchill’s Pub, debuting ferocious songs from his second album, due later this year. And this Saturday, you’ll have another chance to check out his new full-band…
See also “Beacon on Covering Katy Perry: ‘We Came to Know Nothing of Her From the Music.'” Beacon’s Thomas Mullarney and and Jacob Gossett are no strangers to Miami. This year alone, the spectral electronic pop duo have played Bardot and The Vagabond, and Gossett opened a painting show at…
Rayzor is the kind of comedian who doesn’t suffer fools lightly. Especially not fool-ass Republicans who are contemptuous of women’s rights to control their own reproductive health. “The thing I will say about those Republicans,” he tells Crossfade, “is that they let us know. I just recently learned from them…
See also “Beacon Thinks the Electric Pickle Is “Amazing,” Supports a Ban on Death Ray Guns.” Katy Perry sings catchy songs, likes candy, wears fun outfits, and will cure your acne via mail order. But if Katy Perry is the one thing keeping you from enjoying Katy Perry’s music, Beacon’s…
To quote Revelation 6:12, “I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red.” Because the end times just weren’t coming soon enough, Avril Lavigne and Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger have announced…
Freeway is sending out a deposition request that would require Diddy to show up to court and spend time with him.
See also “Stripped: The Show Brings Bulging Dong Slings Dangerously Close to Your Eyes on August 29” The trouble with oiled-up hunks is they’re rarely naked and thrusting their crotches in your face. Not Rike Mambo, Orlando, and Eduar. These beefcakes are The Strippers Del Mambo. And as stars of…
Sometimes, it seems as though half of the people we here at Crossfade meet are dudes. And yet very few of them are oiled-up studs, shaking their bulging dong slings in our face. Chin up, though. Because Stripped: The Show is coming to the Martini Bar at Gulfstream Park in…
In an effort to needlessly destroy as many trees as possible, Creed frontman Scott Stapp will release his memoir on October 2. The book, titled Sinner’s Creed, will be released in hardcover and ebook. But there are no current plans for an audiobook. This is most likely because the target…
Mazel tov! Action Bronson — Crossfade’s pick for best fire-spitting, pasta-cooking mound since Mount Vesuvius — has just signed to Warner Bros. via Vice Records. This year’s Warner company Labor Day picnic is sure to get weird when Action partners up with new labelmate Kylie Minogue for the three-legged race…
See also the full 32-photo slideshow from Rick Ross’s God Forgives, I Don’t Release Party at King of Diamonds. Question: On a scale from Rick to Ross, just how ridiculously baller was the God Forgives, I Don’t album release party at King of Diamonds last night? Answer: Rick Ross…
Ever since World Cup-predicting Paul the Octopus went to that great fried calamari appetizer in the sky, the world has been adrift and directionless. How are we to know what is supposed to happen? Ask a tic-tac-toe-playing chicken? It turns out that the answer has been in front of us…
See also “Bear in Heaven’s Mustache Speaks! Anticipates ‘Mustache Afro’ in Miami” Adorably tragic or tragically adorable? The legacy of Knut the Polar Bear is still being debated by experts everywhere. Rejected by his mother and raised by zookeepers, Knut captured the heart of anyone who, like some New Times staffers,…
It takes a real man (or Crossfade’s grandma) to grow a truly special mustache. And Adam Wills, multi-instrumentalist in widescreen synthpoppers Bear in Heaven, is just such a man. Look at that ‘stache! It sits astride his upper lip like the legs of the Colossus of Rhodes! Virility personified!…
See also “Rick Ross: ‘All 305 Certified Ballers Will Be Present’ at The Bawse’s Miami Strip Club Party.” Tomorrow at 5 p.m., Rick Ross will visit the Best Buy in Pembroke Pines to sign copies of God Forgives, I Don’t. He did the same thing when Self Made: Vol. 2…
Check the contents of your ostrich-skin wallet. Along with the XXXL lambskin condom, stack of hundreds, and black AmEx, there should be your up-to-date 305 Baller Certification card. If, however, you haven’t taken care of this year’s dues, make sure to send that suitcase full of singles to Baller HQ…
It’s on! Guitar-slingin’ Petri dish John Mayer is supposedly dating Katy Perry. Hearing about this combination of America’s favorite sugar-frosted singer and Mayer is about as appetizing as munching on a strawberry Pop Tart that’s been used as a urinal cake. According to femalefirst.co.uk, Mayer has been squiring Perry around…
If a bar of soap were Justin Bieber’s mouth’s boyfriend, our skies would be a safer place. The Biebz was on a flight back from New Zealand when he and his fellow Biebonauts started spewing all sorts of nasty language. Even in doses of three ounces or less, the Bieb-Bop-a-Lula’s…
See also “Gunplay Quits Cocaine, ‘Now I Just Pop a Molly, Fuck It.'” If you’ve ever considered getting a large swastika tattoo, but decided against some antisemitic ink because it might be seen the wrong way … You probably aren’t Miami rapper Gunplay. He’s not only the untouchable Maybach Music…
The last time we heard about nude photos of Carly Rae Jepsen, her representatives were denying that any such photos existed, saying, “This is 200% NOT Carly.” So it shouldn’t be surprising that a short time after supposed stills from a Jepsen sex tape surfaced, police have confirmed that someone…
For the longest time, recorded music’s biggest limitation has been that you can’t jump from behind a corner while wearing it and scare people into squirting their drawers. Well, prepare to squirt them drawers, people near corners. The awesomely noisy weirdos in Black Moth Super Rainbow are releasing their next…
