In California, weed cures all. From back pain to panic attacks, epileptic seizures to ingrown hairs, just about any symptom (and $200) merits a doctor's note allowing you to smoke medical dank without the threat of incarceration. But we live in Miami, a city where bricks of yay and pounds of purp litter the evidence room of nearly every police station. But if you're caught with a dime bag of Buddha in the 305, chances are you're going to jail, or at the very least, signing a promise to appear.
Even though a recent ABC poll shows that more than 80 percent of Americans support medical marijuana, only 13 states allow it. And today, New Jersey is set to become the 14th state in the nation added to that dubious list. That means that for the first time ever, it's better to live in Garden State than the Magic City. Right? Wrong. New Jersey is still New Jersey with or without government-approved bud, and we'd rather spark up on the down low in Miami than openly toke in New Brunswick. So much so, Cultist decided to make a list about our favorite places to burn at in the Miami-Dade. But it's not our fault if you get caught, 'ya dig?
Section West 24, Sun Life Stadium Parking Lot
During football season, some tailgaters bust out stripper poles, others roast whole pigs, and everyone's drinking, anything goes. In fact, it's the only place at Sun Life Stadium you can probably find people selling bud.
Crandon Golf Club, Key Biscayne
Cultist likes to unwind on the golf course every now and again. We're terrible golfers and lose the majority of our balls by the fourth hole, but smoking a J, doing donuts in the golf cart, and trying to catch iguanas is a great way to spend a weekday afternoon. Just let the old dude play through.
Bloomingdale's Parking Garage, Aventura Mall
The top floor of the Bloomingdale's garage is a great place to spark-up before doing a little shopping. It's also the garage closest to Auntie Anne's Pretzel, Starbucks, Cheesecake Factory, and that fancy bakery, PAUL. Mmm Mmm Munchies
Haulover Beach, the Nude Section
Besides your bedroom, where else can you smoke a J naked?
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Miami Science Museum, Space Transit Planetarium
You can't smoke inside the planetarium, but hotboxing just before going in to watch one of the museum's first-Friday laser shows is a brilliant idea. Plus, we think weed fights off asbestos.
What are some of your favorite places to toke?