| Culture |

Why We'd Rather Smoke Pot in Miami Than in New Jersey

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

In California, weed cures all. From back pain to panic attacks, epileptic seizures to ingrown hairs, just about any symptom (and $200) merits a doctor's note allowing you to smoke medical dank without the threat of incarceration. But we live in Miami, a city where bricks of yay and pounds of purp litter the evidence room of nearly every police station. But if you're caught with a dime bag of Buddha in the 305, chances are you're going to jail, or at the very least, signing a promise to appear.

Even though a recent ABC poll shows that more than 80 percent of Americans support medical marijuana, only 13 states allow it. And today, New Jersey is set to become the 14th state in the nation added to that dubious list. That means that for the first time ever, it's better to live in Garden State than the Magic City. Right? Wrong. New Jersey is still New Jersey with or without government-approved bud, and we'd rather spark up on the down low in Miami than openly toke in New Brunswick. So much so, Cultist decided to make a list about our favorite places to burn at in the Miami-Dade. But it's not our fault if you get caught, 'ya dig?

Section West 24, Sun Life Stadium Parking Lot

During football season, some tailgaters bust out stripper poles, others roast whole pigs, and everyone's drinking, anything goes. In fact, it's the only place at Sun Life Stadium you can probably find people selling bud.

Crandon Golf Club, Key Biscayne

Cultist likes to unwind on the golf course every now and again. We're terrible golfers and lose the majority of our balls by the fourth hole, but smoking a J, doing donuts in the golf cart, and trying to catch iguanas is a great way to spend a weekday afternoon. Just let the old dude play through.

Bloomingdale's Parking Garage, Aventura Mall

The top floor of the Bloomingdale's garage is a great place to spark-up before doing a little shopping. It's also the garage closest to Auntie Anne's Pretzel, Starbucks, Cheesecake Factory, and that fancy bakery, PAUL. Mmm Mmm Munchies

Haulover Beach, the Nude Section

Besides your bedroom, where else can you smoke a J naked?

Miami Science Museum, Space Transit Planetarium

You can't smoke inside the planetarium, but hotboxing just before going in to watch one of the museum's first-Friday laser shows is a brilliant idea. Plus, we think weed fights off asbestos.

What are some of your favorite places to toke?

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.