Who Wants Two Tickets to see Clark Gable Slept Here Wednesday at the Adrienne Arsht Center

A pent-house suite, half-drunken champagne, and dildos greet you on stage before the performance even begins, and the first word of the play is a four-letter word for sex.

No, this is not just any play, it's Clark Gable Slept Here, a lively, scandalous peek into the dark and seedy side of Hollywood's glamorous lifestyles. From nudity to murder and dirty jokes, it's got everything fit for adult consumption, and we've got two tickets to enjoy the opening night ceremony, Wednesday, at the Adrienne Arsht Center for you and an age-appropriate friend.

Don't you deserve a nice night out on the town?

See Also: Clark Gable Slept Here at the Arsht Center: The Dead Gigolo Is Only the Beginning

The play's writer, Michael McKeever, names Clark Gable Slept Here as one of his three best works, and our critics most certainly agree. It's a must-see for those obsessed with the silver screen and the lives behind the actors. If you spend all day refreshing TMZ and Perez Hilton, get your ass on over here.

The rules are simple, and you've no excuse not to participate.

Clark Gable Slept Here at the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts Ticket Giveaway

1. Head over to Cultist's Facebook page.

2. Find the Clark Gable Slept Here Ticket Giveaway update and leave a comment.

3. From the pool of commenters, we'll randomly select a winner and contact them as to where to grab their tickets. Keep an eye on your Facebook messages.

We'll announce a winner Wednesday morning. The lucky guy or gal will be contacted with a location to pick up their pair of tickets, and the rest is up to you. Come dressed to the nines, but whatever you do, don't end up dead on someone's rug in the morning.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

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Kat Bein is a freelance writer and has been described as this publication’s "senior millennial correspondent." She has an impressive, if unhealthy, knowledge of all things pop culture.