^
Keep New Times Free
4
| Video |

Seven Adorable Animals Getting Totally Wasted, in Honor of Brew at the Zoo

You should never give alcohol to an animal. While most of us humans have figured out how not to kill ourselves by overindulging in the pleasures of booze, animals don't know when to say when. Some say it's because they have smaller brain capacities; others believe it's simply because they don't have to get up for work the next morning.

In fact, the only acceptable place for mixing animals and alcohol is at Brew at the Zoo, Miami's largest beer festival, bringing together over 100 local, international, and craft breweries to Zoo Miami on Saturday, May 4. Tickets are on sale now, and they're likely to go fast, especially if you want that VIP status that comes with unlimited entry, catered food, and access to a special, exclusive tasting section.

Still, sometimes accidents happen. Sometimes animals accidentally get into the hooch. Sometimes it's caught on video, and sometimes it's damned hilarious. Check out these videos of sloshed cats, dogs, giraffes, and squirrels. And please, make sure that you (and your furry friends) drink responsibly.

Drunken elephants, apes, giraffes, and more. It's like a zoo kegger.

Only a fool stands between a monkey and his rum.

"Dude, I got so wasted at Brew at the Zoo."

"How wasted were you?"

"I was squirrel-running-in-a-tiny-circle wasted, bro."

"Our Italian Greyhound got a hold of two martinis before we did," explain this poor guy's owner. Don't worry, little guy. I have trouble with stairs when I'm drunk too.

Whatever these cats are on, it's the good shit.

Expect to see plenty of human "happy dances" at Brew at the Zoo, too.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Here's why you don't just leave your Adderall laying around where your cats can snarf it up. This little kitty is on a serious Hunter S. Thompson mind trip.

Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.