Rob Delaney is the one you probably know as that guy on Twitter. Y'know, the hairy man sporting a green banana hammock in his picture? That's him, all right.
We keep up with his Twitter account on the daily. Here are some of our all time @robdelaney favorites:
SANTA'S COMING! (all over the sweater an elf just knit for you, so wash it before you wear it)
Cream? Sugar? Fuck you, I want 2 cubes of chicken bullion in my coffee. I've got man's work to do.
I always yell "I'm not masturbating!" when someone knocks on my office door so they know I'm not masturbating.
You can catch these gems and more during Delaney's show at the South Beach Comedy Festival this weekend. But if you just can't wait, read on, because the man has plenty to say about Ryan Seacrest, the Bible, and murdering his audience members.
New Times: Have you been to Miami before?
Rob Delaney: Never.
Any particular reason?
I don't know. There are already enough gay, Cuban, and Jewish people in my life that I didn't feel the urge to go there...?
What are you expecting for this show?
Same thing I expect for every show. To tell the best jokes I can and make the audience laugh so hard that at least five of them die.
Are you a beach goer? Your Twitter avatar suggests so.
Yes, I grew up on the beach outside Boston and I live near the beach in Los Angeles. I am passionate about beaches and the beach lifestyle.
Do you idolize anyone?
Idolize? No. Don't you read the Bible? Idolizing is illegal according to the Bible. There are people I very much admire, however, like Bill Cosby and George Carlin.
Does your wife ever nag you about the jokes you post of her and your family?
Not really. My wife is very funny and she knows I'm joking. She's more likely to bug me if I post something that is a lazy joke or not that creative. She's one of the funniest people I know.
What's the best feedback you've ever gotten about a joke? And by best, we mean most memorable, not necessarily positive.
I like when people tell me about specific foods or drinks that have come out of their noses when they've seen or read one of my jokes. In general if someone make a mess or gets hurt, that's when I'm happiest.
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What are your thoughts on Sacha Baren Cohen's recent prank on Ryan Seacrest at the Oscars?
I thought it was funny. I don't like [Ryan] so it made me happy to see his tuxedo get dirty.
Richard Pryor. He is dead.