Floatopia is almost upon us, and Miami's masses are buzzing with aquatic anticipation. What's not to love about a floating party? We don't get nearly enough chances to take to the brilliant blue waters of Miami Beach with booze, buddies, and duck floaties.
This is a situation where it's best to come prepared. So we've compiled the most awesome gear available to make the most of this epic floating adventure.
This amazeballs floating island is so epic, why would you ever get off? It'll hold you and five of your closest friends, and it comes complete with two built-in coolers and a wading pool. Basically, it's a buoyant party bus.
A beach party isn't complete without high quantities of cold drinks. There's nothing worse than a lukewarm beer while you're cruising in the sweltering Miami sun. This one will hold a whole bunch of bevvies, plus six cans on the outer rim. Floatopia is all about making new friends, and sharing your extra booze is a great way of doing just that.
Every responsible adult knows sunscreen is a must-do, especially under our intense tropical sun. But plain old Coppertone is so damn dull. Make it fun and play paint by numbers on your neighbors with a rainbow of colors instead. And hell, it's an extra believable excuse for wanting to rub your hands all over a hottie's back.
Diversions are a necessity for an afternoon at the beach. Shooting hoops will keep even the most ADD-prone companion busy. And you can always place bets.
Music is a must. And if you wanna compete with the obnoxious Beliebers on the floaties next to you, better bring the power. This floating speaker (which, as a bonus, looks like a giant tennis ball) has a range of over 30 feet, so you can totally dominate.
Less permanent than a tattoo, hotter (and safer) than henna, tanning stickers make a nice souvenir from a day spent in the sun. Pro tip: The Playboy Bunny is a classic choice.
No, seriously, you need an anchor. It may seem unglamorous, but the last thing you want is break free from the pack and have the rip tide take you to Cuba. Anchors are kind of a big deal. So for $15, you can score one that'll keep you nicely tethered to your location of choice.
Yeah, another boring necessity. But if you're not tied tightly to your next-door neighbors, you'll likely float away. The idea of Floatopia is, essentially, one giant floating family. So stay tied to your brethren. Regular rope will work, too, but this stuff is pretty spiffy. And it always helps to look like a pro.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.