Life is all about balance. One night you might be buying lap dances and shots into the wee hours of the morning; the next you're taking a hot-yoga class and replenishing with a spirulina smoothie. It's what Miamians do to stay sane. This weekend, you won't need to curate your health/debauchery tightrope walk, because fate has done it for you. Between Erika Moon's Burlesque Avant-Garde at the Fillmore and Wanderlust 108 in Virginia Key Beach Park, or the Coconut Grove Seafood Festival at Miami Marine Stadium and Octavia Yearwood's book-release party at CIC Miami, you have three days of gluttony and repentance all laid out.
How the Hell Did You Do That?! Release Party at CIC Miami. Octavia Yearwood has been working with Miami's youth since 2012, whether it's through South Florida Cares or her own program, Team Ohhh. Her latest outreach effort is How the Hell Did You Do That?! — a book of support and inspiration for those who have suffered through sexual abuse and foster care. The book signing and release party will include performances, a silent reading, a writing lab, and an art room. Arrive early to get the whole immersive experience. 6 p.m. Friday at CIC Miami, 1951 NW Seventh Ave., Suite 600, Miami; cic.us/miami. Admission is free.
305 Comedy Jam at Magic City Casino. The folks at Have-Nots Comedy show off Miami's funny side year-round, but the 305 Comedy Jam is a little different from business as usual. They're bringing Tonio Skits in from L.A. and gathering four Miami comedians to prove that South Florida is as talent-rich as our West Coast counterpart. Palestinian-born Jamal Hattar, Haitian-American comedians Plus Pierre and Hennessy Williams, and 2016 Ultimate Miami winner Ramon Garcia will keep the city laughing this Friday night. 9 p.m. Friday at Magic City Casino, 450 NW 37th Ave., Miami; 305-649-3000; havenotscomedy.com. Tickets cost $20 to $40.
"A Thread of Execution" at Dimensions Variable. Each moment in history is rich and complex enough to feel unique and unprecedented, but the links between various practices and traditions throughout time can be striking. This is evident in "A Thread of Execution," which places computer code and programming next to fiber arts. In the work of nine artists, the layering of discrete and simple lines connect ancient traditions and cutting-edge technology through function and image. 6 p.m. Friday through December 29 at Dimensions Variable, 300 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-615-3532; dimensionsvariable.net. Admission is free.
Krewella at the Fillmore. Sisters Yasmine and Jahan Yousaf, better known as Krewella, introduced themselves to the world right here in Miami as headliners of Ultra Music Festival in 2012. The two recently released their latest EP, New World, and are on a North American tour in anticipation of New World Part 2. If you're ready to get hype to trap-flavored pop beats, catch Krewella as it breezes through the Magic City. 8 p.m. Friday at the Fillmore, 1700 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-673-7300; fillmoremb.com. Tickets cost $27.50 to $45.
Erika Moon's Burlesque Avant-Garde at the Gleason Room. Burlesque is the epitome of sex and sophistication, things your slutty kitten costume is severely lacking. Why not let Erika Moon's Burlesque Avant-Garde teach you a thing or two while indulging your sultriest tendencies? For three nights, the dance, fashion, and performance veteran will bring traditional burlesque to the dark side just in time for the spookiest season. Show up in your sexy Halloween costume if you're up for being compared to the divas onstage. 9 p.m. Friday and 8 and 10:30 p.m. Saturday at the Fillmore, 1700 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-673-7300; fillmoremb.com. Tickets cost $35 to $75.
Kitetober Kite Fest at Haulover Beach Park. When our half of the Earth begins to tilt slightly farther from the sun, South Floridians find more reasons to go outside. If you have kids (or a very present inner child), the Kitetober Kite Fest is a great way to tucker them out in the sunshine. Whether you're there to enjoy the huge squid and scuba-man kites or you have a wind-sailing device of your own, your weekend will improve with a picnic and an air show at Haulover Park. Noon Saturday and Sunday at Haulover Beach Park, 10800 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-893-0906; skywardkites.com. Admission is free; parking costs $7.
Wanderlust 108 at Historic Virginia Key Beach Park. When your yoga instructors talk about a major shift in consciousness, they aren't just referring to the blissed-out asana addicts breathing loudly around you. The Wanderlust wellness organization works to proliferate meditation and yoga globally through events spanning 17 countries on five continents, meaning there's a widespread demand to integrate mindfulness practices into everyday life. The Wanderlust 108 festival does this with the only mindful triathlon: a 5K run followed by a yoga class and guided meditation. Afterward, you can peruse booths from local food and craft vendors. 7:30 a.m. Saturday in Historic Virginia Key Beach Park, 4020 Virginia Beach Dr., Miami; wanderlust.com. Tickets cost $40 to $60.
Whole and Healthy Wellness Festival at the Wynwood Yard. Healing from pain or trauma, mental or physical, usually isn't as easy as popping a pill. The mind and body affect each other, which means recovery often requires treatment for both. At the Whole and Healthy Wellness Festival, experts in this arena will come together to offer classes, activities, and treats, including yoga mixed with belly-dancing, barre sessions, organic frozen juice pops, and a class on how to plant seeds by Slow Food Miami. Plus, there will be a gymnastics performance for the tots. The whole family will benefit from this full day of healthy living. 11 a.m. Saturday at the Wynwood Yard, 56 NW Second St., Miami; thewynwoodyard.com. Admission is free.
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Matisyahu at the Culture Room. Matisyahu is one of those people who find some level of success in whatever they do. He managed to be taken seriously as a reggae-singing, beatboxing, rabbi-looking Orthodox Jew. That's someone who can do anything. Then he shaved his head, changed his look, and became even more famous! He released a new album this year, Undercurrent, which he produced and crafted all by himself. He's on his Broken Crowns Tour with Common Kings and Orphan and letting it all hang out lyrically this weekend. 7:30 Saturday at Culture Room, 3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale; cultureroom.net. Admission costs $38.
Coconut Grove Seafood Festival at Miami Marine Stadium. You'd think the Coconut Grove Seafood Festival would take place in Coconut Grove. Silly you. It'll actually happen in Key Biscayne. The waterfront celebration of the fruits of the sea kicks off stone crab season, so be ready for the sweet, tasty flesh of those little critters. There will be live Caribbean music, areas for kids to play and learn, and mojito and wine lounges for adults. Most important, expect more than 25 gourmet culinary partners shoveling fishy food down your gullet. The proceeds will benefit Celebration of the Sea Foundation, which works to engage and educate people to protect the ocean and promote STREAM (science, technology, recreation, engineering, arts, and music) education. 11 a.m. Saturday and Sunday at Miami Marine Stadium, 3501 Rickenbacker Cswy., Key Biscayne; coconutgroveseafoodfestival.com. Admission starts at $15.
Ironman Competition at Bayfront Park. Though Black Sabbath gave the phrase "iron man" a sad bent, the real Ironman competition — which includes iron folks of all genders — is a platform for talented people to showcase their strengths in multiple sports. Though it's too late to register to participate, you can catch these superpeople run, bike, and swim with a level of endurance and power unknowable to all the lazies on the sidelines. 7:25 a.m. Sunday at Bayfront Park, 301 N. Biscayne Blvd., Miami; ironmanmiami.com. Admission is free.