The best time of the week is finally here — the weekend. The next three days are filled with music, art, parties, and boozy beverages galore. From Coral Gables to Little Havana to South Beach, these are the best places to be until the sun comes up Monday morning.
- Cinco de Mike-O Anniversary Show at the Comedy Inn: Every cell in your body regenerates every seven years, making you a new human being. But Comedy Inn is basically the same after seven years – which, in this case, is a good thing for one of Miami's only comedy clubs and the city's only comedy hotel. Yeah, there's a comedy venue with a premium bar inside of a Quality Inn off of U.S. 1 in Palmetto Bay. For their seventh-anniversary Cinco de Mike-o Show, expect hilarious sets from Aaron Berg and DC Benny, hosted by David Stebbins. If you have a little too much fun, rooms at the hotel will be 50 percent off for Comedy Inn patrons.
- Cinco de Wynwood at Mana Wynwood: If cultural appropriation is more palatable to you when it's free, then Cinco de Wynwood's your spot for get-drunk-because-Mexicans day. The event is sponsored by Avion Tequila and will feature a mechanical bull, a 30-foot piñata drop, food trucks, and art and craft vendors. (Remember, you're in Wynwood.) A $17 ticket gets you a drink and some party favors, or you can be one of the 500 people to RSVP first, and you'll even get a free drink with your free party celebrating Mexico's victory over France in the Battle of Puebla.
- Cinco de Mayo Brickell at the Shops at Mary Brickell Village: There's nothing quite like using another country's history to fuel your shamelessly nihilistic party culture. That being said, Cinco de Mayo Brickell should be fun, with tequila shots, margaritas, Mexican beer, more margaritas, piñatas, mariachis, big margaritas, and enough sombreros for every drunk girl to wear in her selfies. If you don't have an index-finger-mustache-tattoo, some physical ones will be provided. Before you slip into a tequila-fueled, raging blackout, salute Commander General Ignacio Zaragoza.
- Climakaze at Miami-Dade County Auditorium: Miami has a unique perspective on climate compared to the rest of the U.S. We're tropical, we're international, we're probably going to end up underwater in 20 years. But instead of battling climate-change deniers or curling into an anxiety-fueled fetal position, you can process your fears and feelings through art. Climakaze is FUNdarte's approach to engaging in environmental activism with climate arts activities. Friday kicks off with a performance by Australian artist Moira Finucane, and local tropical-folk singer Inez Barlatier performs Saturday night.
- Brew at the Zoo at Zoo Miami: You're definitely reading this from your computer or our free paper and thinking, Gee, New Times writers are so smart and interesting. I bet their editors are really great too. I wish I could go somewhere to meet them and simultaneously support this publication that I use to keep up on all the awesome stuff happening in Miami. Aren't you sweet? And you're in luck, because this Saturday you'll find us at Brew at the Zoo, drinking more than 100 kinds of craft beer, noshing on delicious local delicacies, and wildin' out to Arrested Development. You're welcome.
- Ford Lauderdale Air Show at Fort Lauderdale Beach Park: What do nine military planes screeching through the air in coordinated patterns sound like? Freedom, of course. If you didn't know that, you clearly haven't heard of the Ford Lauderdale Air Show. This weekend, planes from the Canadian Air Force, the U.S. Air Force, and the U.S. Navy will soar over the beach in a spectacular display of the planes' capabilities and various pilots' skills. Aside from the performance, food and beer will be for sale, so just bring a beach chair and some shades to enjoy the show.
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- Free Comic Book Day at various locations: Maybe you picture comic-book fans as basement-dwelling teenagers who shun the light of day, but you're about to be proven wrong. Free Comic Book Day draws out the artists, fans, and casual browsers of comics into the light with outdoor sales and events. Local peddlers like Mac's Comics, A&M Comics, and Korka Comics will distribute this year's batch of freebies and offer others for sale. Hialeah's Tattoos & Comics is adding Creature Entertainment and local illustrator Kenny Calderon to their roster. If you're sick of saving your Iron Man costume for Comic Con, don it Saturday for the festivities.
- Miami's Ultimate Baby Affair at Miami Airport Convention Center: The new-parent experience is a whirlwind of soft poops and exhaustion-induced hallucinations. If ever there were a time to learn to ask for help, it's when you have an infant living in your house. The organizers of Miami’s Ultimate Baby Affair know how that goes. The all-day event aims to help in every way possible, with a host of classes, speakers, and other activities designed to offer support. These include the requisite CPR classes, talking with pediatricians and sleep consultants, raffles, and a fashion show. Miami isn’t always the easiest city for a new parent to navigate, so this event might just be the lifeline you need.
- Rolling Loud at Bayfront Park: Rolling Loud just can't stay put. Bayfront Park is its third venue in three years, with each venue getting progressively larger and more crowded. How they'll get any more space in downtown Miami or how they'll top this year's headlining roster of Kendrick Lamar, Future, Lil Wayne, and A$AP Rocky is anybody's guess. What we do know: It's gonna get rowdy within a six-block radius of Bayside, so if you want in on the biggest up-and-coming festival in the Magic City, buy your tickets to this festival of hip-hop glory.
- The Passenger Festival at Mana Wynwood: Though the Passenger Festival begins at noon, the music doesn’t get blasting until 8 p.m. This means that, along with your desire to hear punk legend Marky Ramone and Miami acts Jacuzzi Boys and Milk Spot live, you have to bring all of your stamina and perhaps your Popeye muscles. The muscles will be for carrying your haul from vendors slinging vintage rock apparel, vinyl, and books. The stamina is for pacing yourself at the beer garden. Sure, you wanna be sedated, but not that sedated.
- Woofstock at the Barnacle Historic State Park: Celebrate sweet springtime on Biscayne Bay with your pooch at the Barnacle. The historic state park invites pet owners to mingle with their furry companions at Woofstock. The daytime event includes pet tricks, a K-9 demo, adoptions, animal blessings, and a pet/owner look-alike contest, so make sure your poodle-coif game is strong Sunday.