Here we are at episode 11 (do they ever end?), and somehow the center of the wives' daily controversy is still the fight between Evelyn, Nia, and Jennifer. Look, we get it. It was a biggie. Mean things were said. Vases were compromised.
But here's what we know for sure: If Evelyn says she's going to pop somebody in the mouth, you better take her at her word. So Jennifer, watch out. Possibly even get security guard. Or two.
And hide your ceramics.
These Basketball Wives are savvy, that's for sure. But after listening to them discuss how Jennifer and Evelyn will avoid each other on their girls' trip to Tahiti, we worry for their sanity. If they honestly believe that's going to happen, we think fiction writing should be their next step. With crazy like that coming out of their mouths, imagine what they could put down on paper.
Let's pause for a moment to address Chad Ochocinco. Ocho, we love you, baby. Why? First of all, he's not exactly hard on the eyes. And after checking out his Miami Beach penthouse, we know his interior decorating skills -- or at least those of whoever he paid to decorate it -- are out of this world. Who doesn't love a huge red velvet couch that looks straight out of a '70s low-budget porn? Then there are his three TVs. That is dedication to the small screen if we have ever seen it. And we're recapping Basketball Wives, so we know a thing or two about TV dedication.
Back to the action: While Evelyn discussed her plans to redecorate and the fact she no longer wants kids with Mr. 85, he decided to woo her with his words. Please read below for what Evelyn says is one of his many, many love poems to her.
Where are the tissues? That shit is beautiful.
Meanwhile, there is a lot of shit going down in the life of Jennifer Williams. She is getting her lip gloss line off the ground. (Has this not been happening for at least three seasons?) She's suing everyone around her. And she's also putting in long hours being Kenya's only friend and -- god help her -- talking to Eric Williams again. We mean, really? Are you really hanging with a man who chucked a full margarita in your face a couple of months ago? Make better choices, Ms. Jenn.
Then it came time for Royce and her dad to sit down and discuss her love life. He has the same question we do: "Why so serious so soon?" There is no doubt that every season, she has a different man she is "in love with." Currently, it's NFL-er Dezmon, and daddy Reed has a problem with that.
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In a few words or less, he tells her to slow her roll and/or find someone her own age. After some research, we learned he is 22 and she is in or around 33. Cougar, anyone? After some more words are exchanged, she begins to have a breakdown. Like, a full-blown Lindsay Lohan-like breakdown.
While Royce was throwing herself on the floor like a child not getting a toy at Kmart, we began to think baby girl has some daddy issues. Usually this disease stems from not having a father, but here, her father is involved. Like, too involved. Unfortunately for Royce, we couldn't agree more with every "old-school" point he is making. (AKA get it together, gal) Really, we aren't sure what to think. But if all it takes is Mr. Reed not approving of Royce's man to make her really lose her mind, something's going on there.
Next week, we get to see the entire Reed clan sit down Dezmon. Oh, that should go well.