A Cappella Alfresco

TUE 12/28

A dream or two that may come true/When the tide comes in. At least expect to fall under the dreamy spell of The Miamians Men's Chorus and the Gold Coast Chorus (a chapter of Sweet Adelines International) while they croon at tonight's Barnacle Under Moonlight presentation. The Barnacle (3485 Main Hwy., Coconut Grove) is one of the area's earliest homes and the oldest one left in its original location. Blankets, lawn chairs, and picnics are suggested, but no pets nor alcoholic beverages are permitted. Cost is five dollars with proceeds benefiting the park. Children under 10 are free. Call 305-442-6866. -- Margaret Griffis

Oh, You Brute!

A good man is hard to find

SUN 12/25

How many dysfunctional marriages have been based on this premise? The scary monster thing is all an act: Beneath the back hair and the beast-breath lurks a truly good man who just needs an understanding woman. Talk about a myth that endures: Beauty and the Beast has been in circulation since the Middle Ages -- it had an extended run in The Young Misses Magazine of 1783, and 250 years later, it's a Tony-winning Disney stage musical, replete with talking teapots and dancing feather dusters. This fable's delicious Freudian dark side should make for savory post-theater discussion with the kiddies. The play runs until January 2 at Actor's Playhouse (280 Miracle Mile, Coral Gables) with a cast full of Carbonell winners. Today's show is at 2:00 and tickets cost $37.50 to $45.00. Call 305-444-9293 or visit www.actorsplayhouse.org. -- Gail Shepherd

Not-So-Silent Night

Have a Bored Shitless Christmas

SAT 12/25

Christmas can be so anticlimactic. After the frantic shopping, the present opening, and the big feast -- then what? This year, blast away the holiday blahs at the Bored Shitless Festival. Enjoy the distorted sounds of experimental singer/songwriter Xela Zaid as well as the Laundryroom Squelchers. Led by local noise rock icon Rat Bastard, this cacophonous troupe seek "nothing less than the deconstruction and obliteration of rock and roll in dissonance and off-key chaos." Also expect Rob Elba of the Holy Terrors and The Curious Hair to bring the noise tonight at Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave. Call 305-757-1807 or visit www.churchillspub.com. -- Patrice Elizabeth Grell Yursik

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.