The New Jordan Rule: Shut it Up!

Miamians love Michael Jordan. So much so, in fact, that we took the extraordinary step of retiring His Airness’s jersey in our own arena, even though his only lasting legacy here was sweeping the Miami Heat out of its first playoff series in 1992. No worries. We wanted to be like Mike. And we welcomed him when he became a part-time resident, when he hooked up with one of our cubanitas, and even when he began stalking the beach like many other creepy retired athletes. But Michael mistook our magnanimity for apathy. And now he’s going to pay LePiper.
Jordan joined the chorus of naysayers in criticizing our triumvirate of all triumvirates. He badmouthed LeBron, and by extension Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, the entire Heat franchise, and even the mystery-meat peddlers outside the arena. And when Jordan, the owner, and his new team, the Charlotte Bobcats (Really? Have you seen a bobcat? It’s just two pointy ears away from being a tabby!), come to the American Airlines Arena this Monday, you can forget about it being just another preseason game. Whether Michael is in the house, and whether the Holy Trinity plays for more than a quarter, believe this: There will be a smackdown. The game begins at 7:30 p.m. Tickets start at $10. Visit ticketmaster.com.

Mon., Oct. 18, 7:30 p.m., 2010