Screenshot via @sexyfishmiami/Instagram
Audio By Carbonatix
Spooky season is upon us once again, pero like, what are we wearing, bro? Halloween in Miami means a few things: traffic is about to get even worse, evenings are finally dipping below the 80s, and almost nothing is off-limits when it comes to our costume choices.
Anyone can pop into one of the city’s seasonal Spirit Halloween locations or, for the real locals, shop at La Casa De Los Trucos. But for those looking for originality (or a last-minute crafting project), why not embrace the uniqueness of the 305? Your out-of-state friends might not get the Hialeah Spiderman or Pub Sub reference, but isn’t that kind of the point?
If you’re still brainstorming, here are some DIY Miami-themed Halloween costumes that will make your friends say, “Bro, that is literally perfect.”
Club Space photo
Accidental Miami Marathon Runner
It’s been an epic night at Club Space until, lo and behold, you find yourself leaving in the early daylight hours…smack in the middle of the Miami Marathon. Oh well, hopefully you’re already wearing comfortable shoes from your late-night test of endurance. What you’ll need to pull it off: a fishnet shirt, spandex shorts (preferably metallic), a lollipop, platform sneakers, smeared eyeliner, and a racing number.
Photo by Gesi Schilling
Cafecito and Ventanita
Cafecito culture keeps Miami running. We can’t think of a better way to honor our city’s fuel than with a couple’s costume. For the cafecito, create a large cardboard tube, cover it in white felt, and adhere straps on top so you can step inside. Wear a brown, long-sleeve shirt with a matching hat to mimic coffee coming out of the top. For the counter, cut a square hole in a large poster board and paint the front in honor of your favorite ventanita (Versailles? La Carreta? Tinta?). Make sure to stand side by side so you can hear everyone sighing, “We want what they have.”
Flanigan’s Cup
This one is for locals who want a costume that is both instantly recognizable and universally loved (if you didn’t grow up with a collection of stacked Big Daddy cups, are you even from here?). Cut out the bottom of a round trash can, and spray paint it forest green (or hot pink, for Breast Cancer Awareness Month). Print out a giant picture of the Big Daddy logo to glue onto the trash can and attach straps to the top with a staple gun. Step inside and thank us later.
Hialeah Spiderman
Maybe you’ve seen him at Subway, grabbing a footlong or riding around in his impossible-to-miss Spider-Mobile. He looks almost identical to the Marvel Comics superhero, but this one is truly our friendly neighborhood Spiderman (or as some people on TikTok call him, “Spidermeng”). To imitate this icon, start with a ready-made Spiderman costume (any local Halloween shop or second-hand store should carry one), and then it’s time to get crafting. You’ll need cardboard, red, white, blue, and black paint, and a decent amount of skill to recreate our local hero’s tricked-out Ford.
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images
I-95 Traffic
Group costume time! And this one is truly terrifying. To mimic the terror that befalls anyone who gets on I-95 from 3 to 7 p.m., encourage a half-dozen of your best friends to find store-bought car costumes — or go DIY with cardboard boxes (no driving experience necessary). Line up in a messy two-by-three formation and forget all social norms regarding personal space. For a spring break traffic theme, invite a seventh friend to twerk on top of one of you.
Miami Influencer
Any flashy outfit will do. Search Zillow for a Miami condo balcony with a water view, then print out the image (oversized) and paste it onto a poster board. Next, attach the image to your back (industrial-strength Velcro should work) and speak loudly into your lapel microphone. Make sure to use words like “success,” “grit,” and “determination,” and don’t forget to shout out to your “sponsors.”
Photo by George Martinez
Pitbull
What could be more Miami than dressing up as Mr. 305 himself? He’s local, he’s recognizable, and his look is an easy lift. Step 1: Bald cap. Step 2: Aviator sunglasses. Step 3: Extremely tight button-up shirt. Step 4: Dress pants and a blazer. Done. Dalé.
Publix photo
Pub Sub
If there’s one thing Miamians from all walks of life can agree on, it’s the superiority of the Publix sub. Whether your go-to is a turkey and Swiss, a classic Italian, or the chicken tender sub, this is a costume that you can make as unique as your sandwich order. We suggest going the semi-homemade route: Start with a store-bought hot dog costume. The bun will serve as your fresh and delicious Publix bread. Then, it’s time to get creative with the middle part. Glue guns and different colors of felt can create various sauces, protein, veggies, and other ingredients.
The Sexy Fish Robot
There are boring, unattractive delivery robots, and then there’s the Sexy Fish X Pinkbot delivery robot. What you’ll need: a gold bodysuit, red heart-shaped glasses, a gold paper fan on your head, Mrs. Potato Head’s lips (or red lipstick, if yours are already plump). If you really want to get into character, roller skate around Brickell, handing out little pieces of gummy sushi.
The Signature Bridge
Unlike the bridge itself, this costume is quick and easy to construct. Roll beige craft paper into long “spider legs” and tape them into arches over your body. They don’t really need to connect to anything, nor does it need to look complete to come across as authentic to the I-395 structure. You can tell people, “It was supposed to look cool, but it’s kind of a mess now,” and still be perfectly on theme.
