Miami Is in an Absurdly Heated Debate Over a Basic Driving Question

Anyone who’s had to brave Miami’s streets when the traffic lights are out after a hurricane knows our city can barely handle the complexity of a four-way stop. Crossing a major intersection under those conditions could be more dangerous than the storm itself.

So when a Reddit user cross-posted a simple driving question from r/WholesomeAFK to the Miami subreddit, they likely knew the prompt was anything but wholesome — this user was choosing violence.

The post comprises a graphic showing three cars, each numbered for identification, at an intersection with arrows indicating the direction in which each vehicle is headed. Above it, a question: “Which car should go first?” Miami had thoughts.

“I answered, then read it’s in Miami,” one user wrote. “All logic went out the window after that.”

Indeed, most commenters recognized that, in Miami, the answer to this question varies.

Some missed the point entirely. “Doesn’t matter, none of them have stopped at the stop sign,” wrote one user. There are no stop signs in this graphic, which means the cars have to drive, and if they all do that at the same time, there will be a pileup.

Another confused commenter asked: “Why the yield sign[?] It should be a stop sign for 1.” No. That’s an entirely different scenario.

And another: “Doesn’t matter, none of them have stopped at the stop sign.” THERE IS NO STOP SIGN.

After the confusion came some answers.

“The one wielding the gun,” one user wrote, possibly after learning that open carry is now allowed at many Miami-Dade Public Libraries and grocery stores.

“Whoever ain’t a biotch,” commented an alpha.

One popular answer: “All of them.”

“They lay on their horn and go simultaneously,” one commenter agreed. Another argued speed was the deciding factor: “The faster car goes first.” Still another answered the simple question with a simple answer Yoko Ono would appreciate: “Yes.”

Others said we need more information. “Who’s driving the Nissan? They’ll go first,” one user asked. “Depends. Are any of these Nissan Altimas with body damage?” asked another.

Then, the answers got really creative.

“2, but the idiot in 3 thinks they go first, so they’ll T-bone car 2, and 1 will be recording and post it on Only in Dade.”

“Too many people are forgetting about car #4,” wrote another user who’s definitely had an inpatient driver pull out from behind them while they waited to turn at an intersection.

Others alluded to the second-most dangerous drivers in Miami, after aggressive drivers: hesitant drivers.

“If it’s Miami, 2 is going to use their right of way to hand signal 1 to go first, and then 1 will be confused by it and hesitate. Meanwhile, a RAM truck is going to come from behind 3 and skip them to make the left and be the actual car that goes first.”

If you’re keeping up, the correct order is car two, then three, then one. Car two has the right of way, then car three can make a left. Car one has to wait because it has a yield sign.

But if you want to get really technical, this user nails it: “2, then 3, then 1. Unless I’m driving, then I’m going first while they figure it out.”