Audio By Carbonatix
Independent Journalism in Miami Needs You
We need to raise $10,000 by August 9 to support the reporting our community depends on. Reader support keeps us independent and is playing a larger role in funding local journalism and shaping what comes next. If you believe independent local journalism matters, make a contribution today.
It is almost impossible to make a fashion faux pas at Ultra Music Festival. I mean, yes, just about everything worn during the festival would be a major style “don’t” anywhere else, but fashion is not the point. Sure, some people are there for the “music,” but most people are there to watch DJs pretend to double-click on their Macbooks and have strangers do elaborate glowstick finger dances three inches from their eyes, if you know what I mean. So yeah, wear whatever the hell you want.
Apparently, though, dozens of people cracked the code for this year’s Ultra fashion don’t. It goes something like this: one part “cliche T-shirt design meme that peaked in 2007″ + one part “two dudes who somehow lost their way to the frat house and ended up with neon skinny jeans and an illegally downloaded version of Ableton and made the most annoying song ever” + one part stating the geographic obvious. Mix in a bowl with liberal amounts of neon. There it is, the shirt that somehow makes you look like the biggest d-bag imaginable amid a sea of proudly plump girls in tutus and fishnets, stoner dudes in sailor-striped booty shorts and top hats, and techno goths wearing faux fur boots in 80-degree weather. Congratulations!
