Ten Best Things to Do in Miami This Weekend

Hallmark’s biggest scam holiday is next week. Because Valentine’s Day falls on a Tuesday this year, some couples will celebrate Día de los Enamorados over the weekend by dinning at fancy restaurants, having sex in public, and pouring thousands of dollars into the private helicopter charter industry.

But what about the “average Joe” couple, the cute pair that doesn’t buy into hyper-consumerism and corporate-made holidays? We’ve compiled a weekend guide to help you avoid those obnoxious PDA-friendly lovers, an anti-Valentine’s Day weekend guide of sorts.

Friday

• Sixteen Candles: Don’t you forget about this ’80s classic; it’s playing at Fairchild Tropical Botanical Gardens. 
• Luis Bofill and Sol Ruiz: Sunny music and a dirty, pissed-off feminist folkster. 
• Here & Now: 2012: It’s the last weekend to catch Miami’s favorite performance art project.

Saturday

• Tomatina Miami: Party like a Spaniard and waste some produce — 25,000 tomatoes, in fact.
• Second Saturday Art Walk: Our favorite time of the month!
• Advance Auto Parts Monster Jam: Let’s crush some cars and gorge on hot dogs, it’s monster truck time.
• Forever Tango: It’s like fully clothed sex on the dance floor, the lovemaking kind.
• Com Truise: Dyslexics may read Tom Cruise, but this is electro giant Com Truise.
• Dave Williamson: This Miami-native comic’s taking over the Miami Science Museum, because science is funny.

Sunday

• The B-52s: Not even going to front, this is one of our favorite groups of all time.
• The Virginia Key Grassroots Festival: The festival wraps up, make sure to check out it.

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