Text-Messaged Proof that Miami is Alive and Bleeding

On Wednesday, we received the following text message from Disco Rick, multi-platinum producer of the above classic, “Your Momma’s on Crack Rock”:

From:Disco Rick

DIAMONDS CABARET

ROBBERY @CLUB 2DAY

WAS SAD. MANAGER

DAN WAS FRONTED BY 2

GUNMEN. DAN WAS

SHOT 3TIMES AS HE

RETURNED FIRE & SHOT

& KILLED 1 ROBBER. &

DAN IS OK

Ever vigilant, we called Diamonds Cabaret and asked about “Manager Dan”. “Dan was shot,” said the woman who picked up the phone and did not give a name, “He’s in the hospital, and he won’t be out for a very long time.”

Trust that we’re on the case. In the meantime, rest easy knowing Miami is still as Miami-tastic as ever.

— Gus Garcia-Roberts