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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Arrested: 3/09
Charges: Aggrevated Assault with a Deadly Weapon and Resisting Arrest
We all knew the cigarette industry was inundating us with subliminal messages, but now they’re putting them in our mugshots? That’s just …hold on I need a cigarette.
Arrested: 3/08
Charges: We’re not even the type of people who get jealous of mustaches, and yet we’re jealous of this mustache.
Arrested: 3/12
Charges: Battery on a Police Officer and Trespassing
“But I didn’t mean to trespass and accidentally beat you officer. It’s just with this haircut sometimes I don’t see where I’m going.”
Arrested: 3/08
Charges: Grand Theft and Petit Theft
You arrested her for grand theft, and yet you’re going to leave the mystery of who snatched her weaved unsolved?
Arrested: 3/08
Charges: Disorderly Intoxication and Battery on a Police Officer
The snobs at Vogue might not agree, but we’re pretty sure that “I might possible be a witch” is a good mature lady look.
Arrested: 3/08
Charges: Battery
This dude is either too old or too young for this shirt, but there’s no doubt he should leave the surfer bro haircut to dudes in their 20s. Don’t rub that “I may be grey, but I’m certainly not balding” ish in people’s face.
Arrested: 3/13
Charges: Reckless Driving and Eluding an Officer
For a second there we thought this was Roberto Benigni.
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