Audio By Carbonatix
“Welcome to Pleasureville!”
It’s a magical place where everybody masturbates (solo or en masse) every minute of every day. And there is never a shortage of over-the-counter sex toys, tingly warming lube, or Ecstasy™ condoms.
Or as we here at Crossfade call this autoerotic paradise… South Beach.
Just listen closely and you will hear the climactic screams of South Florida’s sex enthusiasts. Partly because Trojan’s gonna be hosting a “massive vibrator giveaway” at SoBe nightclub NoWhere Lounge next week.
Oh yeeeaaahhh.
See also:
–Free Boob Job Giveaway at South Beach Club!
–Ten Best Songs About Masturbation
“Trojan is bringing the sexy back to South Beach,” the company’s reps moan, “helping Miamians raise the heat index in the bedroom by giving away thousands of free Trojan vibrators via Trojan Vibrations Pleasure Carts.”
Now you might wonder: WTF are “Pleasure Carts”?
Simple… As the Trojan peeps explain, they are “specially designed” mobile sex toy stands “modeled after traditional hot dog carts.”
You know, ’cause vibrators (even purple ones) look like penises, which look like hot, delicious wieners.
Part of a cross-country “pleasure revolution” (i.e., gratis sex toy tour) that’s already humped into New York City; Washington D.C.; Chicago; Boston; and Las Vegas, Trojan’s “massive vibrator giveaway” will be doing South Beach quick and sloppy on Tuesday.
Coming for only about four hours (noon till 4 p.m.), these sex-toy peddlers will be offering a helping hand to SoBe “pleasure seekers” with “free Trojan Tri-Phoria (MSRP $39.99) or Trojan Pulse (MSRP $29.99) vibrators, while supplies last.”
So hurry up and hump down to Pleasureville. “Hope to see you at the Pleasure Carts!”
Trojan Vibrations’ Massive Vibrator Giveaway. Tuesday, February 26. Nowhere Lounge, 653 Washington St., Miami Beach. The event’s going down from noon to 4 p.m. Visit facebook.com/TrojanVibrations.
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