Tiki Scorch

South Florida isn’t Hawaii, but they’re so damn similar, who cares? Since middle-class Americans discovered Florida was a nice place to spend the winter — and a cheap facsimile of that faraway Pacific island chain — they’ve been putting on grass skirts and making the best of things. And for the past ten years, the Hukilau has been claiming to be the East Coast’s largest tiki and Polynesian pop gathering. Thursday at 7 p.m., the tiki festival will kick off with a party at the Bahia Cabana, with performances by the Intoxicators! and Tikiyaki Orchestra. Friday is the Hukilau main event, with MC King Kukulele and live shows by Grinder Nova, the Fisherman, Marina the Fire Eating Mermaid, and the Exotics beginning at 7 p.m. at Bahia Mar’s Commodore Ballroom (801 Seabreeze Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). Saturday at 11:30 a.m. in the Bahia Mar’s Mariner Room, see “Beautiful Girls That Live Like Fish!” — an exhibit of vintage photos and film from a famous ’60s mermaid attraction. The Hukilau closes Sunday at 4 p.m. with a meet-and-greet with surf guitar great Dick Dale at Mai-Kai (3599 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale). Don’t forget to hit every happy hour, buy plenty of Polynesian souvenirs, and get a commemorative photo taken — after all, no one has to know you weren’t actually on the Big Island.
June 9-12, 7 p.m., 2011