Audio By Carbonatix
Nets 96, Heat 95. Now that we have covered the game, let’s talk about more important things, like what the hell LeBron James was doing with his feet last night.
People instantly realized something weird was going on, namely that every time LeBron took a step, a flash of light shot into their faces as if they were having a near-death experience. Was LeBron wearing some vintage light-up L.A. Gear kicks or what?
ESPN’s Mike Wallace was the first one to point out something weird was going on with LeBron’s shoes.
Will you step up to support New Times this year?
We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If Miami New Times matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
Then others, like ESPN’s Izzy Gutierrez, took notice.
Then he wasn’t so sure. Probably nothing. Maybe LeBron isn’t illuminating light with every step. Maybe we are all just really bored.
But wait! The Palm Beach Post‘s Jason Lieser saw it too!
Then fans began confirming it, apparently via remote motion-detection cameras strapped to trees in the arena. Also, they made jokes about the shoes, because Twitter is for two things — jokes and outrage.
But then like a fart in the wind, the shoes were gone. Had the NBA told LeBron to switch? Did the shoes ever exist? What is life?
After the game, we learned it was all a lie. There were no lights. There were no mirrors. In reality, it was just a really shiny sticker-decal-pattern-thingy that reflected light in an odd way. Myth. Busted.
But in the end, ESPN wins as always, because ESPN will talk about anything, you see.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
