Hands Down the Best Political Ad in the State

Hell yeah, we love cute, singing animals. We’d do pretty much whatever these fuzz balls tell us to. John McCain should have tried this tactic a long time ago (but Sarah Palin probably would have shot all the animals from a helicopter, as is her nature; then McCain would have crashed the helicopter, as is his nature). These particular singing animals are for Amendment 4, which gives property tax exemption to lands used for conservation. But polls indicate it won’t reach the 60 percent needed to pass (hell, the only one that is even close is Amendment 2, because voters couldn’t give a fuck about cute animals or repealing outdated laws rooted in racism. They just wanna make sure homosexuals know they’re hated).

—Kyle Munzenrieder