Audio By Carbonatix
It’s safe to say that American Idol‘s run as America’s favorite reality competition show is fading.
Last season’s ratings were significantly lower than previous years. And quite frankly, many of us can’t name three Idol winners that aren’t Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and Jordin Sparks.
Nevertheless, the show’s executive producer Nigel Lythgoe is determined to milk the AI cow until the last drop. So when he mentioned Charlie Sheen as a potential judge for next season’s Idol, we weren’t that surprised.
While it remains a mystery whether or not he was joking, the thought of Charlie Sheen critiquing amateur singers isn’t half bad. In fact, we think it’d be a total rating-booster just bursting with Tiger Blood.
We’re thankful for you. Are you thankful for us?
We feel thankful for our staff and for the privilege of fulfilling our mission to be an unparalleled source of information and insight in Miami. We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to this community.
Help us continue giving back to Miami.
Check out our list of Charlie Sheen Idol predictions after the cut.
Charlies Brings Back the Primetime Cigarette
Tobacco. Nothing’s as American as a pop culture icon chain-smoking a pack of Marlboro Reds on national television. Ever watch Match Game reruns on GSN? It wasn’t the fact that Richard Dawson was an uninhibited pervert who hit on every female contestant that made him cool; it was the fact he smoked on camera. And Charlie Sheen’s bringing it back, because you’re not a badass until you’ve defied the Surgeon General’s warning on the small screen.
Incoherent Ramblings
Yeah, Paula Abdul invented the incoherent ramble when she was an Idol judge, but Charlie would perfect it. Here’s an example:
Ryan Seacrest: “Charlie, what’d you think of her performance?”
Sheen: “Simple. I thought it was fucking epic, like a goddamn Francis Ford Coppola film on acid. Let me tell you, this singer doesn’t care about trolls and losers who put her down; she’s full of Tiger Blood and knows that she’s a winner. A winner-winner, Sheen dinner. Am I right?”
Kissing Contestants
Charlie’s misunderstood; he’s not an evil person high on crack all day. In fact, he’s a loving individual with adoration and respect for both men and women. And if he lands the gig, don’t be surprised if Charlie ends up kissing each and every Idol contestant on the lips next season.
Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.
