Audio By Carbonatix
Dear Kim Kardashian:
There’s something that’s been bothering us about you lately. No, it’s not your budding “music” career, your fragrance, diet pill endorsements, or the fact that you’re famous for getting manicures, lunch, and having a nice ass. Nor is it because you’re such a shamless media whore that you’ll appear at the opening of a toilet or the fact that you condemned your sisters on television for tweeting about vaginas and mayonnaise because all three of you have fans that are “under the age of 18” and that they’re bad influences although it was an X-rated, “leaked” video starring you, Brandy’s little brother, and body waste that propelled you into stardom.
Regardless, it’s none of that ridiculousness that we have a problem with; a working girl’s gotta work, we get that. Our problem is your face. Or rather your new face. And with new rumors and, well, photographic evidence that you’ve been tampering with your lips we’ve got to say, seriously, Kim, WTF? You are a naturally beautiful woman. Your face was perfect before the knife. And if we have to look at your plastic visage plastered everywhere, even on a fucking credit card, could you give it rest? Oh…nevermind.
Love,
Will you step up to support New Times this year?
We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If Miami New Times matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
Cultist
XOXO
P.S. You’re looking more and more like your mother every day. And that’s not a good thing.
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