An Ode to Jessica Simpson’s Boobs

Jessica Simpson's boobs are huge. And at one point, so was her career. But as of late, the 31-year old pop star's celebrity status has been reduced to headlining Chili Cook Offs and PBS Christmas specials--a far cry from a prime-time reality show slot on MTV in the early 2000s,...
Carbonatix Pre-Player Loader

Audio By Carbonatix

Jessica Simpson’s boobs are huge. And at one point, so was her career.

But as of late, the 31-year old pop star’s celebrity status has been reduced to headlining Chili Cook Offs and PBS Christmas specials–a far cry from a prime-time reality show slot on MTV in the early 2000s, and multi-platinum record sales.

She’d damn near fallen off Crossfade’s radar for good until we heard a rumor that the platinum blonde was getting a breast reduction. Thankfully, however, it wasn’t true.

“I LOVE MY BOOBIES!!”, Simpson tweeted, “They aren’t going anywhere!”

We’re thankful for you. Are you thankful for us?

We feel thankful for our staff and for the privilege of fulfilling our mission to be an unparalleled source of information and insight in Miami. We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to this community.
Help us continue giving back to Miami.

$30,000

Phew. What a relief, Jess. We love your boobies too. In fact, we’ve compiled our favorite Jessica Simpson boobs videos after the jump.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtO2UivAaes

Brunette Boobs

God bless the paparazzi. Jesus Christ Jessica, you’re looking dangerously hot walking ’round Los Angeles, wearing that incredibly low cut top, and letting that double D rack breathe.

Related

Daisy Boob

How you were passed up by the Academy for your role in Daisy Duke is beyond us. We totally campaigned for a Best Supporting Top category, but the Oscar voting committee ignored our e-mails.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Sd26Qo1sKA

Related

Daytime Boob

Holy shit. We’re totally thinking of quitting our job as music bloggers and applying for the position of “guy who puts mic on guests” on the Ellen show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg3MHME4or0

Late Night Side-Boob

Related

If you were Jay’s guest every night, and wore that dress on every appearance, the big-chinned talk show host would never have to worry about ratings again.

Bouncy Beach Boobs

Need we say more.

Related

Glad you’re keeping the girls, Jess.

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

GET MORE COVERAGE LIKE THIS

Sign up for the Music newsletter to get the latest stories delivered to your inbox

Loading latest posts...