Film & TV

"When Tony Gets Hungry, Things Die." Anthony Bourdain's Ten Best Quotes

Anthony Bourdain is debuting his second Travel Channel show this fall. Titled 24-Hour Layover, it will focus on what happens between trips to Greenland and Vietnam and Cuba.In other words, what does Tony do closer to home?

The show will be formatted in much the same way as No Reservations - Tony takes us to cool dive bars and eateries, looking for authentic food, strange people and local hooch.

How did Tony come up with this new show? "The crew and I got drunk one night and said "Hey let's make Samantha Brown's show!Only...different...and good." We can't wait for the Anthony Bourdain episodes on Disneyworld and cruise liner buffet strategies.

To celebrate Tony's new show (and because we think he's the snarkiest, funniest, most brilliant wise-ass in food), we've put together our top ten list of best Bourdain quotes.

10. "PETA doesn't want stressed animals to be cruelly crowded into sheds, ankle-deep in their own crap, because they don't want any animals to die-ever-and basically think chickens should, in time, gain the right to vote. I don't want animals stressed or crowded or treated cruelly or inhumanely because that makes them probably less delicious." (Medium Raw)

9. "Pure evil. This frightening hell spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time."  (on Food Network star, Sandra Lee)

8. "I lurched at all costs from the table after a few hours feeling like Elvis in Vegas - fat, drugged, and completely out of it." (after eating at The French Laundry, A Cook's Tour)

7. "I wanted to gargle with bleach and throw myself off a balcony" (on eating iguana  - No Reservations, Nicaragua)

6. "When Tony gets hungry, things die." (A Cook's Tour, Morocco)

5." I'm hitting the oxygen like Whitney Houston hits the pipe." (No Reservations in Cuzco, Peru)

4. "They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-o shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table." ( A Cook's Tour)

3. "Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don't deserve to eat garlic." (Kitchen Confidential)

2." Life is good, do I really need to endorse cat food?" (Associated Press interview)

1.  "Fifteen years ago, this is what I'd be asking Santa for. I'd like to say that this is the first time I've cooked cocaine, but that wouldn't exactly be true." (on burning 6 tons of cocaine - No Reservations in Panama)


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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times. She has been featured on Cooking Channel's Eat Street and Food Network's Great Food Truck Race. She won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature about what it's like to wait tables.
Contact: Laine Doss