Kwanzaa begins December 26 this year. This celebration of family, community, and culture was founded by Dr. Maulana Karenga, in 1966, as a celebration of world African heritage.
Today, people around the world celebrate Kwanzaa with fruit, traditional Kente clothing, art, stories, and...Kwanzaa cake.
Well, actually one person in the history of the world celebrates Kwanzaa with cake. It's Sandra Lee, the slightly drunk and/or psychotic star of Semi-Homemade, the television show about heating up T.V. dinners.
In the most talked about show of our time, Sandra Lee makes a "harvest cake" in celebration of Kwanzaa. The mess entitles cutting an angel food cake in two, shoving icing and pie filling into it, and placing a hell of a lot of candles onto this monstrosity.
Since this cake will go down in the "that's a shitty idea" hall of fame, we decided to recreate the recipe and bring it to our office Christmas pot luck lunch. Here's what happened.
Step One: You don't really make Kwanzaa cake. It's more of an assembly project that your kid brings home from school. You'll need: one "purchased" angel food cake, one can apple pie filling; one can vanilla frosting; one package corn nuts; two tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder; two teaspoons vanilla extract; one teaspoon ground cinnamon; and five taper candles in Kwaanza colors. Also helpful? Booze for the
cook assembler. If we're going to channel Sandra Lee, we can't do it sober.
Step Two: Take your angel food cake and apologize to it. It also helps to pour yourself a little liquid courage.
Step Three: Cut your cake in half horizontally and set aside the top part.
Step Four: Place the entire can of frosting, cocoa, vanilla, and cinnamon in a mixing bowl and whip. We're drinking a nice sparkling wine, but feel free to drink rum, Chardonnay, moonshine...
Step Five: Since we finished the wine, we moved on to some bourbon. Open the can of pie filling and add a generous pour of Maker's Mark directly into the can. Can't hurt, right?
Step Six: Frost the entire bottom half of the cake and place the top half back onto the cake. Frost the rest of the cake. You should have a layer of frosting in the middle of the cake now. Drink some more bourbon.
Step Seven: Fill the center of the cake with the pie filling. Garnish the cake with the corn nuts. What the hell.....add another shot of Maker's Mark inside the cake. Nothing like a bourbon "floater".
Step Eight: Add candles. Light. Toast to a job well done.
Here's Sandra Lee's original version. Warning: Not suitable for the sober
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