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Crackerman sells each loaf of bread for $5. I bought one for sampling purposes, ripped open its double plastic contraints, and tore off a piece to take a bite. I was about to chomp into it when Crackerman dove between me and the bread like a president's secret service detail ready to take a bullet to avert disaster.
"No! Not like that. When you wake up do you go right into your girlfriend?"
"Yeah."
"Just like that? You don't kiss her first?"
"Oh yeah. That too. But this is bread, if it's not good raw, then it's not good."
"You have to treat the food right. Here, put some butter on it, tell it you love it, it's the only way."
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.
