First off, congratulations to Mac's Club Deuce for being named one of Anthony Bourdain's five favorite bars in the world.
Best Dive Bar 2012: Mac's Club Deuce
In Food & Wine, Tony makes a case for the smoke-filled cash-only dive bar in the middle of Miami Beach's flashy nightlife scene, "Even if you hate South Beach, this place singlehandedly makes a good argument for drinking in South Beach. It's an antidote to overgel'd, Ferrari-driving, Ed Hardy-wearing motherfuckers."
Now on to the Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll edition of No Reservations: The Final Tour.
Looking forward to seeing Tony indulge all of his "inner demons," I was a little disappointed to find the show a recap of previous episodes in which Tony indulged all of his "inner demons." So, to recap the recap, let's just cut to the chase.
In the "San Pornando Valley," Tony takes us behind the scenes of a typical Food Network shoot. Here we see new television hostess Kerri Cherry use all of the tricks that have made other TV food vixens so popular. We learn how eye-rolling and moaning are so important to a good cooking segment. Also as crucial are phrases like, "toss the salad", "whack it", and "squeeze it out". Food porn? It's what's for dinner.
In what became on of the most talked about episodes in No Reservations history, Tony gets to witness the burning of six tons of cocaine while on a routine shoot of food and culture in Panama. As Tony gets suited up for a bullet proof vest, he tells us, "one minute me and the crew are in the offices of national security, then
As officers hack open what looks like thousands of bales of pure, uncut cocaine (street value about $300 - 600 million), then douse the sucker with gasoline, Tony tells us that, "15
years ago this is what I would have asked Santa Claus for along with world
peace and a magical pony that crapped gold Krugerrands." As the cocaine goes up in flames, our intrepid traveler notes," 'I'd like to say this is the
first time I've cooked cocaine. but that's not exactly true."
Rock 'n' Roll
In Kansas City, Tony hitches a ride with Dan and Patrick (not to be confused with sports guy Dan Patrick). Though they tell Bourdain they're on tour with their band the Black Keys, Tony (obviously still paranoid from the Panama cocaine episode) decides they're serial killers. What to do when you're in a car with two people hungry for flesh and blood? Take them for authentic pit barbeque. As Bourdain muses on whether to fashion a weapon out of a chicken bone, he realizes that these two rib lovers are, in fact, really musicians.
Follow Laine Doss on Twitter @LaineDoss and Facebook.
Follow Short Order on Facebook and Twitter @Short_Order.