Do You Need a Professional Matchmaker to Date in Miami?

I’ve been quick to tell you that dating in Miami can be transactional, depressing, and — frankly — the absolute worst, but maybe it’s time that we start looking at the glass as half full. Surely, there’s a yang to this yin, a flipside to this coin. 

Erica Murphy, a local VIP matchmaker with Three Day Rule, has made a career out of finding love for Miami singles. While she acknowledges that people in the local dating pool face unique challenges, she also says Miamians have some particularly attractive qualities (and we’re not just talking BBLs). 

“The confidence aspect is roaring in Miami,” Murphy explains, adding that she works with clients from all over the country, and that there is a reason many of them ask for Miami matches. “Confidence is like currency [here], and that presents as really sexy. [Miami singles are] driven, they’re ambitious, they’re motivated.” 

The downside, which will come as a shock to no one, is that local singles are less likely to commit. “I like to call it the ‘too much choice’ syndrome,” Murphy says.

“[Miami is] fast-paced, it’s passionate, it’s full of personality. There’s a mix of cultures; there’s a mix of aesthetics. It just makes it feel really exciting, but also really unpredictable in the sense that people are not truly committing.”

With a perceived abundance of options, Murphy explains, local singles often assume they’ll have more fun or a stronger connection with the next person they date. “That’s not always the case.”

It may sound challenging, but it’s Murphy’s job to be optimistic. Here, she gives us an insider’s guide on where to meet Miami singles, how to land the date, and the best strategies for following up. 

“Just because there are so many different people from all walks of life there,” she says. “You’re meeting really diverse and interesting people that are single and available, and really looking for depth and connection.”  

Murphy suggests arriving early for your flight and spending time around different gates, lounges, and food and beverage outlets to increase your chances of meeting someone new. 

If you’re not leaving town anytime soon, Murphy suggests leaning into your interests and letting that guide your search. Are you a coffee lover? Try Panther Coffee in Coconut Grove or Surry Hills in Little River. Love nature and the outdoors? Try a Saturday morning paddleboarding session in Key Biscayne. If fitness is your passion, hit up various local gyms. Other places Murphy recommends include the Coconut Grove Organic Farmers Market, South Pointe Park, Soho Beach House (Cecconi’s restaurant on the bottom floor is open to nonmembers), and dog parks (if you have a dog). 

Another pro tip: go to these places alone (as long as it’s safe to do so, of course). “It helps you be more approachable rather than being with a big group of friends or in a social setting.”

What to Do Next

Counterintuitively, many people’s first reaction to meeting someone they’re interested in is to become shy and closed off. Murphy stresses the importance of showing that you are open, available, and interested. 

“The whole point is you want someone to feel like you are available, you’re being vulnerable.

You can start small: compliment them, give a little bit of that flirty banter. You could ask a situational question while you’re talking with them. And then you can, from that transition, say, ‘Hey, we should grab coffee somewhere,’ or ‘We should maybe meet up here again if you’re free.’”

Landing the Date

Forget about the old “rule” that says you need to wait three days between meeting someone and texting or calling (the company Murphy works for, Three Day Rule, stands for a completely different dating strategy). 

Murphy recommends contacting prospective dates within 24 hours to signal interest. 

“Follow up quickly,” she says. “Miami, again, is fast-paced, and momentum really matters.

A text message within 24 hours is typically recommended, and that also shows confidence. It prevents the energy from getting lost.”

First Date Strategies

First, Murphy suggests picking a location based on your shared interests. 

“If you feel like you’re the most confident at a sit-down dinner, then go ahead and plan that. Obviously, ask your potential match what they’re into to see if it aligns. But if you’re more of a slow dater, you might want to get to know someone without a three-hour investment, because that might feel really overwhelming. [In that case], you can grab a quick drink or a coffee.” 

Once you lock down the date, you may feel pressure to ensure everything is perfect. That’s not necessary, advises Murphy.

“I like to say that first dates don’t always count because there’s a lot of nerves that come into play. So, we want someone to be curious, open-minded, and not be cynical. Try not to bring up any past relationship histories. Stay away from politics; just start small. We like to say practice the three “C’s, ” curiosity, communication, and consistency.”

Ask questions. Stay consistent with what you’re talking about. Communicate how you’re feeling, what you like, and your dislikes. Don’t dive into heavy topics that might overwhelm your potential match.”

Following Up

Is there anything worse than having a magical first date and then…nothing? Or sharing a strong connection, only to be relentlessly spammed by your potential lover? Good follow-up, Murphy says, is key. 

“It should flow easily,” she says. “Miami singles respect people who have their own rhythm. When you’re attractive and you’re enjoying life and not waiting on someone else’s response, that really helps. Send a follow-up text message. Say you had a great time and then see if they’re up to planning a second date when their schedule allows.”

It’s also important to listen to your gut, she says. If something feels off, “Don’t chase and match the energy that you’re being given.”