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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Arrested: 4/3
Charged with: Cocaine possession
We get it dude, you have beard dreads and they’re getting longer. We don’t need to check up on your appearance every six months, you’re no Charles Manson.
Arrested: 3/30
Charged with: Obtain controlled substance by fraud
This is her crying.
Arrested: 3/29
Charged with: Disorderly conduct, possession of counterfeit notes, uttering forged bills, possession of alcoholic beverage by a minor
If we’re reading the charges right, The Biebs was drunkenly making counterfeit money which, if we can look past the haircut for a second, is a pretty badass way to spend a night.
Arrested: 4/2
Charged with: Burglary, assault, criminal mischief
You know how when you were a sullen kid, you would tell your mom “I don’t know” in a way that was really just one guttural sound? We see this naked hero being good at that. “Sir, do you have any form of identification?” [shrugs] “Hmhmmhmm.”
Arrested: 4/4
Charged with: Consumption of alcohol near store selling alcohol, battery
The man’s got a Shar Pei head. There, I said it.
Arrested: 3/30
Charged with: Aggravated assault
And this coy fella’s sending me mixed signals with that glance. I don’t know whether he wants to jump my bones or break them and then eat them.
Arrested: 4/4
Charged with: Habitual driving without a license
Guarantee you this lady has silently twisted at least one guy’s balls over a dispute involving a game of pool.
Arrested: 3/29
Charged with: Cocaine possession
Hey coppers, not trying to tell you how to do your job, but this lady seems to have a knife made out of angel wings around her neck.
Arrested: 3/29
Charged with: Cocaine possession, loitering or prowling, carrying concealed firearm, possession of cannabis
And this executive gets to keep his Bluetooth. I love this county.
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