Mugshots Friday: Matchmaking With Drinking Buddies and Mohawks

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 5/30

Charged with: False name and ID after arrest, Drinking in public

Hey there Half-Shirt Francis, feeling lonely?

Arrested: 6/1

Charged with Disorderly intoxication

Here, we found you a drinking buddy. This week’s Mugshots Friday is all about matchmaking.

Arrested: 6/3

Charged with: Disorderly intoxication, criminal mischief over $200 under $1000

I’m sure this lady is just soaked in sweat because she’s been doing home workout videos. But this seems like a good time to say to Miamians: STOP WITH THE BATH SALTS.

Arrested: 6/1

Charged with: Tampering with physical evidence, possession of cannabis

Hey there Mohawk Manuel, looking for a nice lady to curl up on the couch and watch techno music videos with?

Arrested: 6/1

Charged with: Burglary with assault

[Audience swoons, cheers]

Arrested: 5/31

Charged with: Felony battery, Aggressive panhandling

You, sir, look exactly like Kurt Russell.

Arrested: 6/2

Charged with: Trespassing after warning, cocaine possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, grand theft

I don’t know what she did to get that teardrop tattoo, but I bet it involves a shank hidden in a loaf of banana bread.

Arrested: 5/30

Charged with: Battery

Here’s a fun game. Click on the above photo. Then keep clicking on it so it expands and shrinks, expands and shrinks, while watching the forehead vein. Crying yet?

Arrested: 6/3

Charged with: Disorderly conduct, breach of the peace, resisting officer with violence, petty theft

Like Delilah, I am now taking requests and shout-outs. Nadine from Kendall requests the copycat zombie and says “Strangely well-groomed homeless guy, no?” You got that right, Nadine… and that’s going to play us out of the hour.

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