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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Arrested:4/22
Charges: Cannabis Possession
His face reads “God Forgives, I Don’t” around his eyes. Was this his tattoo artist’s response when he asked him to apologize for letting him put all those other stupid tattoos on his face?
Arrested: 5/22
Charges: Vehicular Grand Theft
We’ve seen ol’ eye slash tattoo guy in Mugshots Friday before, and each time he gets arrested we hope he turns his life around. Then we realize he has an eye slash tattoo.
Arrested: 5/22
Charges: Drinking in Public
This guy could really turn his life around by starting a service where parents pay him to scare the crap out of their misbehaving kids. You don’t always need a missing limb to remind kids to leave a note.
Arrested: 5/22
Charges: Grand Theft Third Degree
Welcome to Miami-Dade, we’re even the abuelas are hardcore.
Arrested: 5/22
There’s actually nothing less provocative than wearing a t-shirt that says “provocative.”
Arrested: 5/22
Charges: Battery
Might have been a rough night, but at least nobody snatched your weave.
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