Opinion | Editorial Voice

Justin Bieber Should Commit One of These Crimes to Be a Gangster

Justin Bieber is no different from Kim Kardashian. He has to do outrageous things to continue drawing attention. Now police are investigating him and his buddies for allegedly egging his neighbor's house in the exclusive community of Calabasas, California. The egg-throwers could face felony vandalism charges because they allegedly caused...
Carbonatix Pre-Player Loader

Audio By Carbonatix

Justin Bieber is no different from Kim Kardashian. He has to do outrageous things to continue drawing attention. Now police are investigating him and his buddies for allegedly egging his neighbor’s house in the exclusive community of Calabasas, California. The egg-throwers could face felony vandalism charges because they allegedly caused $20,000 in damage. During a search of Bieber’s house, cops arrested the pop star’s homie and house guest Lil Za (real name Xavier Smith) when they found Ecstasy and Xanax near his bed.

Bieber can’t make up his mind. On one hand, he acts like he has Michael Jackson syndrome — he doesn’t want to grow up. Egging people’s houses is what 13-year-old kids, not 19-year-old men, do. On the other hand, Bieber has also gotten into the type of trouble associated with gangsta rappers, like racing his exotic sports cars on quiet streets and confronting paparazzi trying to take photos of him.

He badly wants the world to see him as a tough guy, which is why he joined Lil Wayne as part of boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s entourage — and looked totally out of place. To get the street cred he craves, Bieber is doing things that might land him in jail. However, the stunts he’s pulled so far are nothing like Lindsay Lohan’s felony cocaine possession or stealing clothes from a luxury department store. That’s why his homie Lil Za took the hit on the drug charges. Last time I checked, though, if it’s your house, it’s your drugs.

If Bieber really wants to make the jump to gangsta rapper, he needs to get arrested for one of the following crimes:

Will you step up to support New Times this year?

At New Times, we’re small and scrappy — and we make the most of every dollar from our supporters. Right now, we’re $17,800 away from reaching our December 31 goal of $30,000. If you’ve ever learned something new, stayed informed, or felt more connected because of New Times, now’s the time to give back.

$30,000

1. Riding around town with a pound of weed in his car.

2. Trashing his hotel room after an all-night coke binge.

3. Possessing a machine gun without a federal license.

4. Making it rain at the strip club and then picking up all the dollars.

Related

5. Getting a girlfriend pregnant and then refusing to pay child support.

Then he’ll become a certified OG.

Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.

Loading latest posts...