Year in Review: Loon Over Miami

Throughout 2008, Loon Over Miami columnist, Elyse Wanshel, has found herself in plenty of awkward situations that conjures up thoughts of "Only in Miami." In this post, Wanshel picks her favorite and most memorable columns of the past year.

"Zombies Walk" Who knew wearing fake blood and blinking raver necklaces while walking down Lincoln Road could be so, well, this.

"Pregnant Pause" My proudest moment in life? Easy -- Taking tequila shots and dancing on a pole while knocked-up.

"Gaytastic" This, by no means, is my favorite column. BUT, because of it, I got a deliciously (and when I say "delicious" think of a tasty cocktail, packed into a syringe, and then plunged into your ass) hot piece of hate mail which I received, not through my work email (which is listed at the end of the article) but through MySpace:

"ya its real gay.. ecspecially to nasty,fat,ugly,un-athletic whores.. why dont you come move up to seattle with the rest of the fuckin pussy ass hipsters bitch. you stupid fuckin cunty fat whiny bitch. I feel bad for whatever man slides his poor defenseless pee pee into your cob webbed sewer water smelling excuse for a vagina. Go fuck yourself and need no reply."

"Kentucky Fried Art" Finger lickin' fun for Wynwood gallery walkers.

"Save Me" I've never done salvia. But, if I did it, here's how it happened.

"Nastie's Oil Wrestling," "Drunk Spelling Bee," and "Colt 45 Chugging Contest"

These columns (in my head, at least), I automatically correlate as equals, being that all three were as fun to "research" (coughcoughtakingashotcough) as they were to write.

-- Elyse Wanshel

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Jose D. Duran is the associate editor of Miami New Times. He's the strategist behind the publication's eyebrow-raising Facebook and Twitter feeds. He has also been reporting on Miami's cultural scene since 2006. He has a BS in journalism and will live in Miami as long as climate change permits.
Contact: Jose D. Duran