WTF Florida: Satanist Display to Be Shown at State Capitol

A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest. This week, that includes a deadly 4-year-old, a man who desperately needs anger management classes, and, of course, Satan himself.

Satanist Display to Be Shown at Florida Capitol

America has religious freedom. The government is not supposed to endorse one religion over another. Satanism is a religion. Therefore, after a court battle, this thing will greet visitors in the lobby of the capitol building in Tallahassee December 22 through 29 alongside other religious displays.

This is nothing new. In previous years, a six-foot Festivus pole and a Pastafarian Flying Spaghetti Monster have been shown alongside more traditional scenes like the Nativity.

Um, excuse me, though. Where is the Unitarian Universalist display showing Jesus holding hands with Buddha and a Hindu god while he proclaims, "These guys are pretty cool too... Or are they? You decide!"?

Four-Year-Old Nearly Chokes Mother to Death With Seatbelt

A Florida Highway Patrol officer not only saved a woman's life but also saved the woman's 4-year-old daughter from a lifetime of therapy.

On Thanksgiving, the state trooper was flagged down by a vehicle near Tampa by the woman's husband. His wife was being strangled by a seat belt, and his attempts to free her only made the seat belt tighter. The officer cut it with a knife. Then he got the story of what happened: The child had refused to sit in her car seat and was protesting so much that she pulled the mother's safety belt over her neck and it got caught in place.

Man Attacks Girlfriend After She Suggests He Take Anger Management Classes

A good sign you need anger management classes: You physically attack anyone who says you need anger management classes. George Robert Pineda, 44, was having an alcohol-assisted discussion with his new girlfriend about their future together in Ocala. The woman suggested he might need some courses to control his temper, so he started screaming at her and choked her.

Things settled down, but when Pineda fell asleep, the woman ran away to call authorities. Pineda was arrested on battery charges and has several previous battery convictions of both the aggravated and domestic variety.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Kyle Munzenrieder