Why Do Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio Continue To Hide Their Love?

All of Florida is wondering when Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio will come out and make it official. They are totally in political love, but why won't Jeb put a ring on it by endorsing Rubio over Gov. Charlie Crist in the Senate primary? 

Years ago, things weren't so hush-hush. During Rubio's House Speaker swearing-in ceremony, Bush unsheathed his big, powerful, gold sword and bestowed it upon Rubio's eager hands. Seriously.

"I'm going to bestow to you the sword of a great conservative warrior," Jeb said, after reciting some politically-erotic fiction about Chang, a mystical, conservative warrior with the most stereotypical Chinese name possible.

Rubio keeps that sword in his office as a quiet mark of their (political) love, but what he really wants out of Jeb is three little words that mean so much: "I endorse you." 

In the mean time, Jeb and Rubio now seemingly have joint custody of the Bush brothers. 

Jeb's sons George P. Bush (the least embarrassing one) and Jeb Jr. (the one who got caught having sex in a car in a mall parking lot, because abstinence only education works) will be headlining a fundraiser for Rubio in mid-December. 

It's hard to imagine they'd be doing so without Daddy's blessing. So why won't Jeb just come out and let the world know that he'd much prefer young Marco as Florida's next senator over his successor Charlie Crist? 

Charlie Crist, meanwhile, knows nothing of keeping secret urges hidden. We all remember the time he went on Oprah and jumped up and down on her couch shouting his deep affection for his lady fiancee. That guy just loves ladies, and he doesn't care who knows it. 

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Kyle Munzenrieder