Audio By Carbonatix
We are now just one day away from the Florida Primary, and thusly only 24 hours away from revealing Jesus’ endorsement for the next president of the United States. All last week, Jesus picked apart the candidates and dismissed them like Judas at the Last Supper, from John Edwards to Mitt Romney. Today, Jesus shares his thoughts on Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton. Click here to read the whole Who Would Jesus Vote For? series to date.
Remember in the patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)®, a maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.
Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton: Yes! Something about this lady reminds Jesus of his immaculate mother. They have the same eyes … or maybe it’s the nose.
When she teared up in New Hampshire, Jesus did too. Okay, okay, Jesus cried like he was Baby Jesus.
CRS Result: 4 1/2 Crosses
Jesus clearly has a soft spot for the former first lady, she has been awfully faithful to Bill through the rough times after all. But Jesus will announce his holy endorsement tomorrow morning, handing out his only 5 Cross rating. Don’t go to the polls without checking Riptide first. — Calvin Godfrey and Tovin Lapan
