Audio By Carbonatix
Last night, the Heat toyed with the Pelicans for a half, pulled away in the third quarter, and ultimately cruised Usain Bolt-style to the finish line for a 107-88 win over the New Orleans Pelicans.
LeBron James had a game-high 32 points, 16 coming in the decisive third period. Dwyane Wade, looking healthier than he’s looked since the Heat’s epic 27-game winning streak last season, dropped an efficient 22 points on 9-15 shooting to go with eight rebounds and eight assists.
The Heat improved to 16-3 at home and 27-8 overall on the year.
Flying. Death. Machine.
Wade and LeBron continue to entertain with their arsenal of Kama Sutra dunks. We really should name them based on how they go down — for instance, “OMG, HE DID THE HAMMOCK!” or “OOOOOHHHHH, I THINK THAT WAS THE WHEELBARROW!” If I had to name the ones above, the first one would be “the Surprise,” and the second would be “the Trapeze.” Sexy.
Speaking of sexy, late in the fourth quarter LeBron found himself in the lap of an elderly woman in the crowd and did what any guy does when he finds himself in such a situation — got him some sugar, because GILF.
Don’t knock it till you try it, son. LeBron might start a trend here, like how Bosh started the postgame video bomb. Heat players who find themselves in the stands might now try to one-up one another, getting increasingly frisky with the fans. You thought ticket prices for those court sideseats were high before? Wait until Heat players start giving lap dances and wearing tear-away shorts.
Anthony Davis is awesome, but he looks ridiculous — he’s like a deep-fried Twinkie. I’m mesmerized by the fact that he plays for the Pelicans and has what appears to be a mini-pelican soaring between his eyes. Not only does he refuse to shave the unibrow, but he also sells it’s likeness on T-shirts and key chains. Seriously, though, he’s pretty awesome, and he’s merely a few months out of his teens.
It’s not just me, though. Everyone is confused yet intrigued by Davis and his unibrow.
Heat versus Knicks Thursday — that should be hilarious. Oh, and I know this is a Heat recap, but…
OUT OF MY LIFE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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