Sports

Vuvuzelas Buzz Marlins One Step Closer to Completely Destroying Baseball

Warning to baseball purists: Watch the above video with extreme caution, industrial-grade earplugs and a few highlight reels of the 1964 World Series handy to revive your sense of basic MLB dignity.

The Marlins have brought vuvuzelas to baseball. Specifically, they handed out 15,000 of the horns that are currently doing their best to ruin South Africa's World Cup.

The results? A sunny weekend at the ballpark horribly transformed into an echo chamber droning, mind-destroying horns.

The racket was so bad the umps wore earplugs, Fredi Gonzalez botched a pitcher substitution and the Rays and Fish played a bumbling, beer-league softball worthy contest.

Take it from the players, managers and umps, as quoted in the AP recap:

Dan Uggla: "That was the worst handout or giveaway I've ever been a part of in baseball. This isn't soccer. I know the World Cup is going on, but this is baseball."

Cody Ross: " It was awful, awful. I can't tell you how awful it was."

Crew chief Tom Hallion:" It was the most uncomfortable baseball game I've been a part of in a long time because of that. Whether that had anything to do with it, I don't know, but it could have. When's the last time you heard something like that at a baseball game? Never. You don't see this kind of stuff at baseball games."

Way to go, Marlins. Another battle won in your long personal war to destroy all that is good and holy about baseball.

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Tim Elfrink is a former investigative reporter and managing editor for Miami New Times. He has won the George Polk Award and was a finalist for the Goldsmith Prize for Investigative Reporting.
Contact: Tim Elfrink

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