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| Columns |

Victoria Jackson Moves From South Florida, Is Forced to Remove Bow-Tie From License

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Victoria Jackson, the former SNL cast member who turned to Tea Party politics in a misguided attempt to revive her career, is no longer a resident of South Florida. The news comes from a blog post on her mind-melting website, couched unceremoniously between an anecdote about the DMV and an explanation as to why its a bastion of Sharia Law in the United States .

From 1986 to 1992, Jackson's television schtick was reciting poetry while doing a handstand. Though she wasn't exactly Lenny Bruce, her role as a ditz was still funnier than the neo-con troll she's become in recent years. But now she's some other state's problem, having relocated to Tennessee.

See also: Victoria Jackson's excellent Tea Party adventure

Apparently Jackson finds Tennessee's official stance on hair bows unsatisfactory, though. Bows were her signature cranial accessory on televison, and she even wears one in her Florida drivers license, so much is it a part of her crazy-assed essence. But in the latest rant on VictoriaJackson.com -- which is basically the political equivalent of TimeCube -- she recounts being told that when updating her license, the bow would have to go.

Of course this set off a tirade in which the DMV was blamed for giving Muslim women preferential treatment for cranial accessories. Why, she argues, should women practicing Islam be given an exception, when she can't wear an over-sized red-white-and-blue bow on her head to celebrate America? Couldn't she argue that her religion was bow-ism? Yes, she probably could, but it's doubtful that the DMV would take her seriously and thus discount a religion that has more than a billion practitioners worldwide.

Jackson probably thought that her patriotic gesture would go over better in a red state like Tennessee than the liberal cesspool of ball sweat and Rohypnol that is Miami, but she was clearly wrong. Tennessee was one of the first states to comply with the Department of Homeland Security's REAL ID program, which puts a more stringent standard on identification documents. As of February, Florida's been in compliance as well, but had she not made a trip further up the Mason-Dixon, she could have held onto her old license a little longer.

Oddly, it seems as if Jackson's husband, Paul Wessel, is still employed by Miami-Dade as a police officer. Whether that means the couple has separated or not is unclear.

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