Three Players Quit Fins Training Camp, Including Best Named Prospect Ever

News flash out of Davie this morning, courtesy of the Associated Press: Dolphins training camp really sucks ass, and coach Tony Sparano knows it.

Fullback Matt Quillen, a 24-year-old prospect out of the fightin' New Mexico Lobos, lasted only one day under Sparano's apparently brutal and unprecedented regime of running around out in the sun in football gear.

Quillen is the third player to abandon the Fins team during training camp, a trend Sparano seems mighty proud of. "It might be me. I'm not for everyone," the coach told the AP.

But Riptide can't help but think the AP missed the real story here. Quillen may be the third player to leave camp, but it's the first casualty of Sparano's training regimen that should have the Fins Nation up in arms.

Thanks to Sparano's hard-nosed camp, Dolfans will never have the chance to root for the most sublimely named, 6'4", 315-ponud O-lineman on the planet: the one, the only, SirVincent Rogers.

SirVincent is not, as far as Riptide can tell, an officially knighted member of the House of Lords. But he was a 2008 All-Conference USA candidate as a University of Houston Cougar. Damn you, Tony Sparano, for denying us the chance to purchase his jersey.

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