Are you prepared for the most important night in Miami pop culture history? MTV unleashes the second season of Jersey Shore tonight at 10. It follows everyone's favorite guidos as they hook up, drink, and fight their way through South Beach. This might bring a tiny bit of shame to our fair city, so we suggest you deal with it the healthy way: copious amounts of alcohol. So get your vodka Red Bulls and Snookitinis ready, because here's our Jersey Shore drinking game.
Be forewarned, playing this game with straight shots of liquor will get you a little too tipsy and leave you with a massive hangover. So when we say sip, we recommend taking a gulp of something lighter but still trashy. Stuff like Four Lokos, Natty Ice, boxed wine, Red Bull with a bit of vodka, and things of that nature. But when we pull out the stops and command you to take a shot, be sure to do it straight from the bottle, with the trashiest girl in the room pouring it directly into your mouth.
- Someone references the lyrics of "I'm in Miami, Bitch": sip.
- A cast member partakes in gym, tanning, or laundry: sip.
- A cast member partakes in gym, tanning, and laundry at the same time: shot.
- Verbal fight: sip.
- Physical fight: shot.
- Hookup involving someone outside the cast: sip.
- Hookup between castmates (not counting Ronnie and Sammi): shot.
- The Situation takes off his shirt: A copious amount of liquor is poured on the dude with the best abs in the room, and everyone else has to lick it off (no homo!).
- Fist-pumping: Take a sip while, of course, fist-pumping.
- One of the girls cries: Pour a drop of liquor down your cheek and lick it off.
- One of the guys cries: shot.
- Someone wears Ed Hardy: sip.
- Hair gel or hair spray is used or referenced: sip.
- Someone mentions the word guido or guidette: sip.
- The guidos encounter a chonga: shot.
- Snooki mentions her poof: sip.
- Snooki appears onscreen without her poof: shot.
Special Locals-Only Edition:
- You can recognize where a scene was shot: sip.
- The cast goes to a place you've actually been: shot.
- Someone you know appears on the show: Chug whichever drink you have until you send that person a mocking/congratulatory text message.
- You appear on the show: Go ahead and go for the gold. Get that hangover -- you won't want to show your face at work tomorrow anyway.
Got any suggestions? Put 'em in the comments.