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We all want to be a Heat lifer, but it takes a lot of sacrifice, patience, and dedication.
We all want to be a Heat lifer, but it takes a lot of sacrifice, patience, and dedication.
Photo by Joe Raedle / Getty Images

The Five Kinds of Miami Heat Fans Everyone Knows

No one can accuse Miami Heat fans of being predictable. They're passionless. They're flaky. They show up late. They leave early.

That's the reputation of a Heat fan, anyway. In reality, Heat fans come in all shapes and sizes in 2020. Here are a few of the types you're most likely to find in the wild. If you don't know one of them, it's probably you.

The #HeatTwitter Heat fan. Listen, you don't want these problems. Do not come for the Miami Heat on Twitter because it will not end warmly for you if the Heat whips your team's ass. Your mentions will be in shambles, filled with gifs and memes that walk the line between being ban-worthy and absolute comedic genius.

#HeatTwitter is what the kids would call "extra." It's the kind of social-media smoke you want to avoid at all costs.

These are not normally the same Miami Heat fans you'll find in the arena. They go to games but for the most part enjoy sitting at home, rooting on the team, and firing Scud missiles at all the haters online. If #HeatTwitter ever rented a fleet of party buses and went to game together, the game would be postponed.

The "inside basketball" Miami Heat fan. Most Heat fans watch games nearly the same way in 2020 as they did in 2000. You watch to see if the ball goes in the basket and, for the most part, don't dive too deeply into anything. The inside baseball Heat fan is not this person. This guy knows how the Heat will play on a Tuesday when it's under 70 degrees in Doral. She's crunched the numbers down to the decimal and can tell you that the Heat is better with a specific certain combination of players on the court.

These fans know literally everything, to the point that you're wondering if they bring a Texas Instruments calculator to the game alongside their secret flask of Fireball. This fan is definitely smarter than you — that's not up for debate — but it's unclear if they have as much fun as you do watching the games or if they're too busy worrying about the numbers to care.

The old-school Heat fan. Old-school Heat fans have been around longer than Pat Riley or, hell, even owner Micky Arison. These are the people who still talk about ex-Heat center Rony Seikaly and who know Ron Rothstein was an ex-Heat head coach with a strong perm before he became a halftime commentator.

Thirty years isn't a long time in sports, but for the Miami Heat, it's the entire existence. A lot has happened, and the old-school Heat fan has literally seen it all, mostly in person. Heat fans who grew up with LeBron James are welcome here, but the ones who sat through the tough years before the introduction of Shaquille O'Neal and Dwyane Wade deserve a medal for loyalty.

The "sky is falling" Heat fan. Every team has the sort of fan who can't handle a loss like a grownup, and the Heat is no exception. Miami could win ten of 12 games, but a loss like Sunday's defeat at the hands of the lowly New York Knicks will have this fan calling for major roster changes.

The sky-is-falling Heat fan truly wears his or her emotions on their sleeve. It's likely this person is emotional with other things in life as well.

The Heat lifer. Heat lifers are a rare breed. Everyone thinks they're a Heat lifer but only a select few truly have the Miami Heat down in their soul. These are the people who never check out — not during a 15-win season, not when Dwyane Wade leaves for Chicago in free agency, not when Pat Riley ruins the salary cap in the 24 months following. They never waver. They might be frustrated, but they tune in every single night to watch whatever the Heat puts out on the court, no matter the record.

We all want to be a Heat lifer, but it takes a lot of sacrifice, patience, and dedication. We become so invested in our sports teams that sometimes watching them struggle is impossible and we'd rather take a break and check back in next season. Heat lifers are the people who never do that. They're driving 45 minutes to the arena, spending their hard-earned money, and getting home late when they have to work the next morning. They're staying up to watch a bad Heat team play the Lakers until 1 a.m. on a Tuesday.

They ride or die for the Miami Heat. Every day, every season, always. We need more of this kind of Heat fan.

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