Sports

The Calendar That Will Help You Win Free Booze When the Heat Lose

We have developed an unhealthy obsession with Hollywood Whiskey Tango Bar & Grill's offer to buy patrons' $25 tab if the Miami Heat lose. It speaks to both the gambler and the drunk in us.

To help you fully take advantage of the promotion, we've whipped up a November calendar highlighting the best (and worst) bets for free booze at the Whiskey Tango Bar & Grill. We'll post a new one each month. Yes, we have a fair amount of free time on our hands, why do you ask?

KEY:

Dan: The Heat will win this game. Watch from your plaid couch. The only free drink you're getting tonight is that old Miller Light can you'll find behind the mayonnaise in your fridge.


Norm: The Heat have a fair chance of losing tonight. Get buzzed at Whiskey Tango but not so drunk that you can't continue making witticisms that crack up your buddies, who may or may not be a mailman and a mildly retarded assistant bartender. The worst that could happen: You spend $25 on beer.

Boris: Launch a nuclear attack on your liver. Do it for your mother country. Coerce the designated driver into signing up for the gamble and drink on their tab after you run through your own $25. You'll be screwed if the Heat win, of course, but that's why it's called gambling.

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Gus Garcia-Roberts