If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
It's good, although ... cough, cough ... your very own New Times had a pretty good read on the same guy last month, if we don't say so ourselves. And we do.
But that illustration! It's more accurate than any photo of Sir Allen could hope to be: the island of Antigua made out of piles of cash, the wild, shirtless excess, the half-crazed look in his eyes.
Well done, Liz Lomax. Now we'd advise you to stay away from Sir Allen unless you'd like a good punch in the mouth.