4

Take the Mail and Run

I can't come to the phone right now...

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With O.J. Simpson yet again begging for attention, White Dade recalls the December evening when he and a friend looked up The Juice's Miami-Dade address and headed on over. "As luck would have it, the Juice's Navigator was missing from the driveway, so we figured he must have been out on a late night search for the real killers. And by 'real killers' of course, I mean strippers and cocaine. But as we walked back down the driveway, we noticed a mailbox..."

And what did they find in said mailbox? Besides a thick stack of pizza coupons and mortgage come-ons, an invoice for The Juice's car payment ($599 a month for that Navigator, 2 months past due), and -- paydirt! -- O.J.'s cell phone bill. Good call, guys.-Frank Houston

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.