Susan Miller, World Famous Astrologer, Soon to Take Over Latin America

Susan Miller, astrologer to the stars, waltzed into the Fontainebleau on Friday night with some very bad news. Most of the 40 or so people in attendance for her annual Year Ahead lecture were Libras, and 2014 would mark the most trying period of their lives.

"Reach over to the Libra next to you and give them a hug or a kiss," she implored her adoring audience members, who had paid $49 for the privilege of insight into the aspects. (Many would also tack on an additional $99 for an exclusive dinner party, $89 for a lunch, and $109 for a spa treatment.)

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Allie Conti was a fellow at Miami New Times and a staff writer for New Times Broward-Palm Beach, where her writing won awards from the Florida Press Club and the Society of Professional Journalists. She's now the senior staff writer at Vice and a contributor to the New York Times, New York Magazine, and the Atlantic.