While you've been sitting at your stupid desk all week, thousands of sunburned Midwesterners have been bonging beer and Instagramming selfies at the beach for spring break. It's unfair, but you can't blame them for taking advantage of the weeklong rite of passage while they're young and their livers are still somewhat virginal.
If you're on the hunt for America's drunkest spring break locale, you don't have to look very far. According to a newly released survey, that distinction goes to our very own Fort Lauderdale Beach — AKA Fort Liquordale.
Earlier this year, researchers with Project Know, an online resource for substance abuse, surveyed more than 250,000 Instagram posts to find the nation's drunkest spring break destinations. Fort Lauderdale topped the list, with 16 percent of the city's spring break posts featuring alcohol or drugs. Landlocked Harlingen, Texas, somehow came in second, while Miami Beach took the bronze medal.
HUMP DAYYYY! Half way through the week during #springbreak only means more fun! Tonight we let you swim in our delicious open bar for only $20, but remember you have to make it before midnight to take this dip. #fsu #picoftheday #fun #smile #friends #loveit #follow #iluvab #weekend #fortlauderdale #nightclub #dance #dj #sexy #party #springbreak2017 #springbreak #collegeparty #floridaparty #southflorida #uf #ucf #usf #frat #fortlaudy #fortlauderdale #springbreak #instagood
The rest of the results are perhaps unsurprising. Although Fort Lauderdale got top honors for overall intoxication, Miami Beach was the most Instagrammed spring break locale, with 16,000 posts. Spring breakers in Miami also mentioned drugs more than vacationers in any other city.
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Though there's no way to know whether the posters are of legal drinking age or if they were drinking responsibly, the team at Project Know cautions that the prevalence of publicly available Instagram posts shows a darker trend.
"While alcohol consumption among college spring breakers may sound harmless, studies point to the fact that the majority of college drinking activities revolve around overconsumption," the researchers write.
You can see the rest of the results of the survey on Project Know's website.