Sports

Survey Somehow Concludes Miami Dolphins Fans Aren't the NFL's Most Miserable

A sports betting site set out to determine which of the 32 NFL teams have the saddest and most miserable fans.

December 27, 2021

Dolphins fans cheer at Hard Rock Stadium on December 19, 2021. Photo by Cliff Hawkins/Getty Images

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Miami Dolphins fans should be jumping with joy. Not only do they live where other fans vacation, but they're also heading into tonight's Monday Night Football showdown with the New Orleans Saints on a six-game winning streak.

But according to a new survey of more than 2,000 NFL fans across the nation by the sports betting site Lines, Dolphins fans are a complicated and jaded bunch.

The survey set out to determine which of the 32 NFL teams has the saddest and most miserable fans, and found that Miami Dolphins fans were only the 27th saddest — or the sixth-happiest, depending on whether you're a half-full or half-empty fan. Fans were specifically asked whether they would cry after a game. Dallas Cowboys fans, followed by Patriots fans, were found to be the likeliest to cry, which, we gotta admit, tracks.

To determine our ranking, Lines surveyed 2,008 NFL fans in November 2021 — so, smack-dab in the middle of the Dolphins' current winning streak and not during their 1-7 start to the season, for those keeping score at home — and asked them whether they’ve ever become emotionally upset while watching an NFL game. The average age of the fans surveyed was 37 years old, i.e., fans who were born around 1984, the last time the Dolphins appeared in a Super Bowl.

It's clear Lines did not understand the kind of masochistic person that would still identify as a Dolphins fan when they dared to ask if they feel any emotion at all after year upon year of disappointment and anguish. "Win a Big Game" was one of the provided reasons a fan might shed a tear. Dolphins fans will be sure to report back if they ever find out.

The survey also asked questions to find out which fanbase was the NFL's most miserable, and Dolphins fans came in 14th. The middle-of-the-pack finish is fitting, since Dolphins fans are most miserable from decades of their team finishing seasons as a middle-of-the-pack team. Not good, not bad, just forgettable.

Detroit Lions fans and Cleveland Browns fans were found to be the most miserable.

We're confident, however, that if more fans were surveyed, Dolphins fans would have done better. And by better, we mean worse.

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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.

Contact: Ryan Yousefi

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