In my quest to become the commissioner of Surfside--the beach hamlet just south of the haughty nihilist province known as Bal Harbour-- I've run into a problem: A lot of the older residents don't want to open the door for me. Maybe it's only because I'm a relatively young man. Maybe it's the sparse creepiness of my election beard. My solution: Carry an oversized check and balloons, sweepstakes style.
It worked. Everybody opened their doors for me on Friday-- except for my opponent Michelle Kligman, who I hoped to challenge to a debate. In a long afternoon of campaigning, I interviewed a tiny dog. A barber offered his vote if I got a haircut. (I turned him down, people.) And I walked out of the ocean completely dry.
Campaign videographer Jacob Katel caught the entire spectacle. Remember, Surfside residents: vote May 1. Vote for awesomeness.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.